MFIMM Chapter 69

## The Knot in His Heart

“I’m sorry…” Pei Jiashu gazed into Lin Xi’s eyes, his usual impatience completely gone, replaced by a multitude of words he wished he could say but couldn’t with the cameras rolling.

After sifting through his thoughts, only “I’m sorry” seemed to remain. He held Lin Xi’s fingers, not toying with them, but gently stroking the matching rings on their hands. “I’ll never do that again, can you forgive me?”

Lin Xi was utterly defenseless against Pei Jiashu’s attempts to coax him. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have simply laid there and let Pei Jiashu do as he pleased during his estrus period.

“You better mean it. The vast online community is watching!” Lin Xi huffed softly, his voice already less resentful than before.

Pei Jiashu knew Lin Xi had already forgiven him. He squeezed Lin Xi’s fingers, words tumbling out without a second thought, “You’re so good.”

Praised like that, Lin Xi felt shy. Fortunately, the hot spring was already warm, his face flushed pink from the heat.

“Feed me a grape,” Lin Xi said to Pei Jiashu. Pei Jiashu immediately grabbed a grape from the fruit platter, even thoughtfully peeling it before feeding it to Lin Xi’s mouth.

“I want to eat a longan too!”

“Okay.” Pei Jiashu patiently peeled another, feeding it to Lin Xi.

Lin Xi stretched languidly, sitting by the edge of the hot spring, thoroughly enjoying himself.

On the other side, the same situation was unfolding. Sheng Yan not only offered Li Zhijian fruit but also massaged his shoulders and neck. “Honey, you worked hard planting rice seedlings today.”

This move directly stunned the viewers in the live stream.

[Requesting Li Zhijian to release a dog training manual. I want one like that too!]

[Same request]

The luxurious dinner the director mentioned was cooked by the landlady. The four of them made a full table, eating some stir-fried dishes made with local ingredients.

There weren’t many guests at the hotel, so they simply asked the landlady and the staff to join them.

Several tables were put together, and the large group made it lively.

Lin Xi said to the camera, “Please, post-production team, Photoshop Xiaobai and Chiqi in here.”

The landlady’s cooking was excellent, the food was fragrant, and Lin Xi ate a little more than usual.

“It’s been a long time since this many people came to the hotel, usually it’s just me here,” the landlady sighed after a few rounds of drinks.

Lin Xi looked at the landlady. She didn’t seem too old, even younger than his parents, but there was a hint of sadness in her eyes when she spoke.

“Why are you here alone?” Lin Xi asked.

The landlady took another sip of wine. Perhaps it had been a while since she had someone to confide in, she couldn’t help but spill out the things she had been hiding in her heart, seeing Lin Xi’s worried eyes.

“This hotel belonged to my husband, but he passed away more than ten years ago.”

Lin Xi didn’t expect to stir up the landlady’s sad memories and quickly apologized, “I’m sorry…”

Sheng Yan looked at the landlady and asked, “Do you have any children?”

The landlady continued, “I have a son. He’s studying for his master’s degree in another city now, and he can’t come home for six months or a year.”

Lin Xi looked at Pei Jiashu. This experience was too similar to Pei Jiashu’s family situation.

He was afraid that Pei Jiashu would be reminded of his own troubles, but Pei Jiashu asked the landlady, “Your husband has been gone for so many years, have you never thought about finding someone else?”

The landlady shook her head, “Ah, I did think about it, but later I realized I still can’t let him go. After he left, I just stayed here and looked after this hotel. Actually, the hotel doesn’t make much money, but in the village, it’s enough to get by.”

Pei Jiashu’s eyes darkened, no one knew what he was thinking.

Suddenly, his hand was grasped by a warm hand. Lin Xi looked at him with concern. Pei Jiashu was taken aback, looking at Lin Xi, he suddenly wanted to pull Lin Xi into his arms.

Lin Xi asked the landlady again, “Doesn’t your son come back to see you?”

The landlady lowered her head, took a big gulp of wine, and said with a wry smile, “My son only comes back to see me during the New Year.”

“You’re the only one left in your family, and your son doesn’t come back to see you, that’s really…” A staff member next to her couldn’t help but speak up.

The landlady retorted, “It’s not his fault, it’s all because of me. After my husband died, I blamed myself, why didn’t I take good care of him? Later, I placed all my hopes on my son, I wanted him to stay by my side forever.”

“My son is also very well-behaved, and he never complained to me. But he felt trapped, when people grow up they want freedom. He told me he wanted to go to college in another city, I refused and changed his application to stay here. As a result, this child rarely came home after going to college, and now he’s studying for a master’s degree in another city, even less likely to come back.”

Everyone sighed at the landlady’s experience. Lin Xi could feel Pei Jiashu holding his hand tighter and tighter, he patted the back of Pei Jiashu’s hand reassuringly with his other hand.

The two of them returned to the hotel first. Pei Jiashu didn’t say a word, hugging Lin Xi first.

Lin Xi hugged his waist, stroking his back like comforting a big dog.

After a long while, Pei Jiashu finally said, “Lin Xi, do you think my father is the same? Just because his pressure was too great after my mother passed away, so he was always so strict with me.”

Lin Xi patted Pei Jiashu’s shoulder. He had only heard bits and pieces about the Pei family’s affairs. Only asking Pei’s father could reveal the real truth.

“Why don’t you ask your father?” Lin Xi said softly to Pei Jiashu.

“I…” Pei Jiashu hesitated again.

Lin Xi suddenly pushed Pei Jiashu away, cupping Pei Jiashu’s face, making Pei Jiashu look into his eyes, “Avoiding it will only keep this matter buried in your heart. But as long as you take a step, the future may be bright. The worst outcome is just accepting that your father really doesn’t love you, but there are still many people around you who love you.”

“Lin Xi…” Pei Jiashu’s eyes welled up, his confused and hesitant gaze gradually becoming firm, “Then I’ll go make a call on the balcony.”

“Okay, call me anytime if you need anything.” Lin Xi said to Pei Jiashu happily.

Lin Xi sat on the chair in the room, looking at the balcony from time to time.

Pei Jiashu’s hands were on the balcony railing, he could only see his back. Outside was a deep night sky, making his back look lonely.

There was no sound on the other end of the phone. Pei Jiashu was silent for a moment, his opening became a little difficult, he turned his head and glanced at Lin Xi, Lin Xi made a gesture of encouragement to him.

“Father, Lin Xi and I went to record a couple’s travel reality show.”

The expected criticisms and accusations did not come. He braved the cold wind outside, as if he were looking at his father across space.

“We met a hotel landlady, her husband had an accident and passed away more than ten years ago, and now even her only son is not by her side.”

His father’s side remained silent.

Pei Jiashu continued, “I asked her why she didn’t find another one, she said she couldn’t let go. Mother has been gone for so many years, why don’t you find another one, Father?”

Pei Yuebin fell into a long silence. If Pei Jiashu couldn’t hear his breathing gradually getting heavier, he would have thought there was no one on the other end of the phone.

“Because no one can replace her.” Pei Yuebin’s slightly weathered voice came through the phone.

All the previous doubts flooded into Pei Jiashu’s heart at this moment, he asked them all out in one breath, “But you have never visited mother’s grave, and there are no photos of mother at home. Only my room has them, but since mother died, you have never set foot in my room again.”

“Also, you don’t let anyone in the family mention mother, not even me.”

Years of grievances erupted in an instant, making Pei Jiashu’s voice even tremble slightly.

The other end of the phone fell silent again. After a long while, Pei Yuebin said, “I’m sorry, I missed him too much. If he hadn’t asked me to take good care of you, I would have even followed him.”

Pei Jiashu’s heart shook. The vague memories of the past were gradually completed, those sweet memories of the family together were no longer just a fleeting illusion.

“Child, I really love you, I love your mother, but I may have used the wrong method,” Pei Yuebin said.

Pei Jiashu was already sobbing uncontrollably.

Lin Xi had been watching Pei Jiashu, seeing Pei Jiashu’s shoulders trembling, he stood up from the sofa and wanted to push the door open and walk out, but he was afraid of disturbing Pei Jiashu, so he paced back and forth at the door.

Until he saw Pei Jiashu hang up the phone, he suddenly pushed the door open and walked towards Pei Jiashu.

“Pei Jiashu, are you okay?”

The tear stains on Pei Jiashu’s face had not had time to dry, shining with a sparkling light under the light. He cried silently, if he hadn’t seen his tears, it would have been difficult to imagine that the person in front of him was crying.

Lin Xi took the lead in hugging Pei Jiashu, comforting him, “It’s okay, it’s okay.”

Pei Jiashu hugged Lin Xi back reassuringly, “Lin Xi, no matter what, you are still by my side, aren’t you?”

He was like a little dog abandoned by others, eager to use words to verify the sincerity of others, in order to obtain a sense of security.

Lin Xi didn’t care so much, repeatedly saying to Pei Jiashu, “I am by your side.”

The positions of the two were suddenly switched, Lin Xi was pressed against the railing by Pei Jiashu. Lin Xi looked at Pei Jiashu blankly, Pei Jiashu affectionately rubbing his cheek.

“I’ve forgotten about the estrus period, but I want to kiss you now. If you want to refuse, you can push me away at any time.”

Pei Jiashu’s face was getting closer and closer, Lin Xi’s feet seemed to be fixed in place.

Two voices in his mind were fighting back and forth, “If he is kissed by Pei Jiashu when they are both sober, wouldn’t it make him seem like he likes Pei Jiashu even more.”

“But Pei Jiashu is in a very bad state now, it’s not like they haven’t kissed before, what’s wrong with kissing again.”

Lin Xi simply closed his eyes, a kiss mixed with tears fell, Pei Jiashu kissed very gently, more like licking between small animals than kissing.

Gradually testing his bottom line, Lin Xi’s hand gradually grabbed Pei Jiashu’s arm, his hand all the way up, hugging Pei Jiashu’s neck.

The kiss deepened little by little, the breathing of the two intertwined.

Lin Xi pushed Pei Jiashu away, his lips were swollen from the kiss, feeling a little numb when they touched together.

“Are we the kind of relationship where we can kiss so casually?”