Difficult To Raise Chapter 17
byChapter 17 Rainy Night
Lately, Jiang Jin had been pondering one thing: Jiang Ran’s eighteenth birthday. His birthday was in the autumn, the season when the mountainsides were covered in red maple leaves, which was why he was given the name “Ran” (meaning burning/flaming).
After this day, his brother would be an adult. This day was undoubtedly extremely important, but Jiang Ran himself definitely wouldn’t care about it. Given their current situation, his brother wished he could split a penny into two, so how could he bear to celebrate his own birthday?
But Jiang Jin couldn’t ignore it. He had saved up a sum of money from singing at the bar, and he planned to prepare a gift for his brother. However, he still had no idea what to give him.
He thought about this all day, becoming somewhat distracted. He zoned out during class, barely hearing a word the teacher said, which caused Little Fatty, who sat next to him, to look at him frequently.
When school ended in the afternoon, Little Fatty couldn’t hold back anymore and asked, “You’ve been looking miserable all day, what’s wrong?”
Jiang Jin was stunned. “Is it that obvious?”
Little Fatty sneered, “What else? Your brows are furrowed enough to trap mosquitoes! What exactly is going on?”
He looked at Jiang Jin suspiciously. “You haven’t started dating, have you?”
“Get lost. How old do you think I am? Do you think I’m like those guys in our class? Teasing girls? Pulling their pigtails? Throwing notes at them? That’s so childish.” Jiang Jin rolled his eyes, genuinely wanting to pry open the guy’s head to see what was inside.
“Then what is it?” Little Fatty pressed.
“It’s my brother’s birthday soon.” The thought made Jiang Jin anxious. He frowned and emphasized, “It’s his eighteenth birthday, his coming-of-age ceremony. It’s very important. I want to give him a gift, but I don’t know what to get.”
“That’s it?” Little Fatty thought it was some huge deal. Hearing that he just wanted to give his brother a gift, his face immediately showed confusion. “What’s so hard about that? It’s not like you’re buying a gift for a girl that requires careful selection, right? Just buy your brother a cake and give him a card, and he’ll be happy for half a day.”
“What do you know?” Jiang Jin retorted, unconvinced. “This is my brother’s coming-of-age ceremony. It only happens once in a lifetime. How can I be so perfunctory? The gift I choose for him must be memorable, something that will make him think of me every time he sees it later. I absolutely cannot be careless.”
“Fine, fine, just treat your brother like a girl you’re trying to woo.” Little Fatty teased him, but since they were good friends, he still had to help brainstorm. “If you really want to give a gift, you definitely can’t choose something you like. You have to consider what your brother likes. Think about it, does your brother have any particular favorites?”
“Particular favorites?” Jiang Jin answered without hesitation. “He definitely particularly likes me.”
Little Fatty rolled his eyes. “I’m asking you seriously. Can you stop being ridiculous for once? How am I supposed to give you advice like this?”
“I’m being serious, too.” Jiang Jin was thick-skinned. As he said this, he felt a mix of shyness and joy, a sweet feeling in his heart. He couldn’t help but add, “He really just likes me.”
“You’re right. Then how about you package yourself up and give yourself to him?” Little Fatty didn’t bother arguing with this fool. He desperately wanted to help his good friend come up with a reliable idea, so he pressed again, “Besides you, what else does your brother like?”
“Then there’s only…” Jiang Jin recalled. He was about to say money, but then he thought of something else, and his eyes suddenly flickered. He murmured, “He also likes listening to me sing.”
Jiang Jin suddenly remembered that night, the first time he held the guitar and sang for Jiang Ran. When Jiang Ran turned his head, his eyes were shining.
Jiang Ran didn’t know that while he was looking at Jiang Jin, amazed by his singing, Jiang Jin was also looking at him, equally amazed by his appearance. He wanted to see his brother like that countless more times.
Little Fatty truly couldn’t communicate with him. He couldn’t help but reflect internally: Why am I talking so much to this idiot who turns into a fool the moment his brother is mentioned? After figuring that out, he angrily cursed and turned to leave.
But Jiang Jin no longer cared. His eyes were bright, even brighter than stars, because he had already figured out what he wanted to give.
He caught up in three quick steps, grabbing Little Fatty’s backpack. “Don’t go. Help me consult one more time. What do you think about me writing a song for him? That one from before, it wasn’t finished yet, right?”
Little Fatty paused. He thought seriously and actually found it feasible. “Then you have to write it properly. Don’t get annoyed halfway through and abandon the project.”
“How could I?” Jiang Jin smiled. “I was just in a bad mood because I was fighting with my brother before, right? I will definitely prepare my brother’s gift well. Will you help me look over it when it’s done?”
Little Fatty gave a soft snort. “Are you going to beg me?”
“I beg you, okay?” Jiang Jin put his arm around his shoulder, grinning playfully. “My future genius drummer?”
Little Fatty slapped him on the arm. “Go to hell.” He then walked away without looking back.
“Hey, wait, wait, wait.” Jiang Jin quickly chased after him, pleading in a low voice, “I’ll do your homework?”
Little Fatty didn’t respond.
Jiang Jin gritted his teeth. “I’ll do it for a week!”
“Deal!”
*
Jiang Ran’s eighteenth birthday was fast approaching, and Jiang Yue, who hadn’t contacted him for a long time, began to frequently pressure him. Jiang Ran had no choice but to say that he would send Jiang Jin away after the birthday.
After hanging up the phone, his heart ached terribly. But there was no way around it; this was the choice he had made, and he never believed it was a bad decision. He had already planned to tell Jiang Jin everything after his own birthday.
But he never imagined that Jiang Yue wouldn’t even wait these few days.
On his birthday, Jiang Ran bought a pile of ingredients early and personally cooked a lavish dinner. Normally, he wouldn’t be willing to spend this money. But the thought that this might be the last birthday he and Jiang Jin spent together made him want to make it special, to at least leave behind some beautiful memories.
However, he waited for a long time that day, but Jiang Jin never returned. He looked outside with some worry, only seeing a dark, oppressive sky.
It looked like it was going to rain, he thought, when suddenly he heard a flash of lightning followed by thunder, and the sky completely darkened.
In just a moment, the heavy rain poured down, soaking the entire world. The cars parked downstairs in the complex were constantly battered by the rain.
Jiang Ran glanced outside, and for some reason, his heart kept pounding, unable to settle down.
A few minutes later, he couldn’t sit still anymore. He told Old Man Chen he was leaving, grabbed an umbrella, and rushed out, intending to go look for Jiang Jin.
But just as he walked downstairs and stood at the entrance of the somewhat dilapidated apartment building, he saw a tall figure.
The person was walking forward dejectedly, drenched in the heavy rain. The curtain of rain obscured his face. In the darkness, Jiang Ran couldn’t clearly see the person’s features, but he felt the figure was familiar. He couldn’t help but call out, “Little Jin?”
His voice was muffled by the rain and should have been inaudible, but the figure stopped. They faced each other across a distance of three or four meters. A car drove up from behind, splashing water, and the headlights suddenly shone on their faces, illuminating both their features clearly.
Jiang Ran called out again, slightly surprised, “Little Jin.”
But Jiang Jin didn’t react at all. The car drove too fast, and the headlights moved away from them. Jiang Ran didn’t see his face, and naturally didn’t see the despairing, red-rimmed eyes of the other person.
“Brother,” Jiang Jin’s tone was very calm. He asked softly, “You don’t want me anymore, do you?”
Boom! Lightning mixed with thunder exploded in his ears. In that instant, Jiang Ran felt the blood in his body turn cold. He even felt his heart skip a beat.
Jiang Ran stood frozen in place for a long time before he managed to recover. He forced a difficult smile, opened the large umbrella, and walked over, holding it above both their heads, just as he had countless times before.
It blocked the torrential downpour that was cascading down.
“Little Jin, come inside with me first. We can talk inside. Your hands are very cold,” he touched the back of Jiang Jin’s hand, his voice hoarse. “Don’t stand out here in the rain; you’ll catch a cold.”
Jiang Jin remained motionless. He looked up at him with an expression Jiang Ran would probably never forget in his life.
It was a mix of disappointment, despair, and pain… several emotions blended together, forming the deepest, most terrifying, and most complex feeling. It was as if something he had always firmly believed in had been shattered, broken beyond repair.
“So, is it true?”
“Little Jin…” Jiang Ran called softly, his eyes filled with pain.
Jiang Jin gave him no room to breathe, pressing, “You just need to answer yes or no.”
Jiang Ran replaced his answer with silence.
At that moment, all they could hear was the sound of the wind and the rain. Jiang Jin felt himself sinking into a vortex of despair. The more he struggled, the faster he was buried.
“Brother…” Jiang Jin’s voice was trembling. He gripped Jiang Ran’s hand tightly, saying word by word, “I’ll go back with you. Just don’t abandon me, okay?” With every word, his voice grew softer, until the last part was barely audible.
Jiang Ran only looked up at him. He didn’t like rainy days, especially nights with such heavy downpours. He always felt intensely cold, as if the chill reached his bones. Even with Jiang Jin holding his hand, it offered no warmth.
“I know. You think I’m disobedient, right? I’ll listen to everything you say from now on… I’ll go to school… I’ll study hard and go to university. I… I won’t sing anymore.” Jiang Jin pleaded with red eyes. “Can we go back to how we were before, okay?”
“Little Jin, listen to me,” Jiang Ran closed his eyes, forcing himself to be cruel. “Your father has the ability to raise you. You are still a child. If you stay with me, you won’t even be able to go to school. I…”
“I don’t care!” Jiang Jin interrupted him, his voice hoarse as he screamed like a traveler who had reached a dead end. “I just want to be with you! I don’t care about anything else! You said you wouldn’t leave me… You said you wouldn’t abandon me… You said you wouldn’t reject me… You clearly said it.”
“Jiang Jin! Why are you being so unreasonable! Yes, I did say that, but at that time, I didn’t know so many things would happen later! I didn’t know life would become this difficult! If I had known, if I had known…”
Jiang Ran no longer knew what he was saying. He only knew that his heart was shattering into pieces. He imagined himself as a soulless puppet, and the only thing he needed to do now was force Jiang Jin away, to make him live the life he deserved.