Paper Lover At Old Town Bookstore Chapter 32
byno matter who i am
“Get out.” Song Zhili’s voice was as cold as ice. Before Xu Xingruo could say another word, he reached out and grabbed her arm and pulled her directly out of the door.Xu Xingruo was caught off guard and was pushed out staggeringly. The door slammed shut behind her, making the walls tremble slightly.
The room instantly returned to deathly silence, and the only sound left was the breathing of Song Zhili and me.I jumped up from the sofa. My shirt was still hanging messily on my shoulders. Two buttons on the collar were broken, and the exposed skin still had the burning sensation from his pressure.There is only one thought in my mind – run!
I didn’t bother to put on my shoes and rushed to the door with my bare feet. As soon as my fingers touched the door handle, I was grabbed by a brute force on the back of my collar. The huge pull made me suffocate instantly.Song Zhili’s palm gripped me tightly like an iron pincer, without giving me any chance to struggle, and he dragged me directly to the bedroom.
“Let me go! Song Zhili, you are crazy!” I kicked my legs as hard as I could, digging my nails into the door frame, but in the face of his absolute strength, all resistance seemed futile.The rough carpet made the soles of my feet feel hot, and I could clearly feel the suppressed anger in his chest, as well as the almost crazy possessiveness.
The bedroom door was kicked open, and the next second, I was thrown onto the soft big bed.The muffled sound of my body hitting the mattress was accompanied by a spin. Before I could get up, Song Zhili leaned over and pressed me down. His 1.9 meter figure completely enveloped me. His palm pressed my shoulder with such force that it almost crushed the bones.
“Run?” His low, hoarse voice was close to my ear, with heavy breathing and paranoid scarlet. “Let me see where you can run.”
I looked up at his face that was close at hand. The broken hair hanging down from his forehead covered the madness in his eyes, but it could not hide the fierceness that was bound to win.My shirt was torn even more messily, and the cold air touched my skin. I was trembling all over, and all that was left in my heart was the despair of breaking a jar – what a fucking plot!I am just a reader wearing a book, why should I be imprisoned by him like this?!
“Song Zhili, let me go! I’m not the Song Qiusheng you know at all!” I roared, tears welling up uncontrollably, “I don’t belong here, I’m just an outsider! Stop pestering me!”
His movements paused, and a trace of confusion flashed in his eyes, which was then replaced by deeper paranoia.”No matter who you are,” he lowered his head and brushed his nose against my cheek, his voice was morbidly gentle, “from the day you broke into my world, don’t even think about leaving.” I stopped struggling, my chest heaved violently, trying to calm down my voice: “Song Zhili, you can’t do this. We are uncles and nephews in name only. What you do is against the rules and goes against common sense-”
Before he finished speaking, he suddenly laughed.The laughter was low and hoarse, with a bit of self-deprecation and strong paranoia, and it actually felt a little hot when it fell on the shell of the ears.
“Rules? Common sense?” He leaned over, still holding my shoulders with his palms, but gently rubbing the corners of my red eyes with his fingertips, his tone was almost cruel relief, “I have cared so much about these these years that I allowed you to do whatever you want time and time again, watching you be gentle to others, watching you ignore my feelings.”
His eyes darkened, his thumb brushed my trembling lips, and his voice deepened: “Besides, I was just picked up by the old man.” This sentence was said in an understatement, but it revealed an indescribable sourness, “The so-called uncle-nephew status is just a restraint in the eyes of outsiders. It never counts here.”
“When I was brought back to the Song family by the old man when I was fifteen, the first thing I saw was you.” His eyes penetrated through time, with lingering paranoia, “I watched you grow from a runny-nosed brat to a tall and upright young man, I watched you grit your teeth for your career, I watched you be gentle to everyone, but you always kept a distance from me.”
He tightened his palms suddenly, with such force that I groaned: “I have been waiting for so many years, waiting for you to grow up, waiting for you to see the people around you clearly, but you have to protect others and provoke those irrelevant people. Since the truth cannot keep you, then I can only use my own way to keep you by my side.”
I looked at the madness and vulnerability in his eyes, and felt angry and blocked.His logic is ridiculously paranoid, but it also carries a kind of twisted affection – he has turned all his forbearance and waiting into the current confinement and possession.And my words “I am not the real Song Qiusheng” seemed so pale and powerless in front of his obsession.
“You don’t understand at all…” I bit my lip, my eyes burning, “I am different from the Song Qiusheng you know.”
“What’s the difference?” He lowered his head, the tip of his nose almost touching the tip of my nose, and his breath was hot, “Whether you are Song Qiusheng before or you are now, as long as you are you, you can only be mine.” His palms were hot, and the pressure on my shoulders relaxed a little, but he still didn’t let go.The paranoia in his eyes faded a bit, and became tinged with a layer of vulnerability that was hard to detect. His voice was as low as a sigh: “I’m already twenty-eight.”
“Over the years, I have never cared about what outsiders think of me or how they talk about my relationship with you.” His thumb gently brushed my red cheeks with an awkward tenderness, which was completely different from the roughness just now. “But I’m afraid that if I wait any longer, I will get old.”
“I’ve been waiting for you for eleven whole years.” There was an indescribable sourness in his voice, “From the first time I saw you when I was fifteen, to the time you grew up, to the time you had a successful career, to the time I almost couldn’t bear it anymore.”
“I can’t wait any longer.” He leaned over, resting his forehead against mine, his breath spraying hotly on my face, and his eyes filled with desperate madness, “Qiu Sheng, I don’t care about status, rules, or whether you are the same person as before. I only know that I want you, I want to keep you by my side, and I don’t want to let you go for a day.”
I looked at his face so close, and at the intertwining of deep affection and paranoia in his eyes, my heart seemed to be blocked by something, stuffy and chaotic.
His words were like a dull knife, cutting me raw – this man who had hidden his thoughts for eleven years exposed his deep feelings and despair in front of me in the most extreme way.
And I, a reader who comes through the book, am not qualified to respond to this heavy and suffocating feeling.