Paper Lover At Old Town Bookstore Chapter 10

May the Divine Hear

Cold sweat streamed down my temples, soaking the stray hairs on my forehead. I shot up from the bed, my chest still gripped by the weightless terror of the dream—Xu Xingruo was crying again. She stood on the edge of the 18th-floor balcony, her fingertips clutching the cold railing, her tears splattering onto the tiles. She asked me repeatedly, “Why didn’t you save me?” Her voice was light as a feather, yet heavy enough to suffocate me.

I sat on the edge of the bed, taking a long time to distinguish reality from the dream. My throat was painfully dry, and I subconsciously murmured, “I am willing… I am willing to give up my life to enter your world and save you.”

As soon as the words left my mouth, tears welled up again. I shuffled into my slippers and walked barefoot to the floor-to-ceiling window. The moon outside was full, its clear light spilling onto the floor, like a thin layer of frost.

I didn’t turn on the light. I simply knelt down, my knees pressing against the cold floor. The pain was numbing, yet it was nothing compared to the guilt and heartache in my soul.

“May the Divine hear,” I whispered, pressing my forehead against the cold glass, my hands clasped together. My voice was choked with sobs as I repeated, “Please, let me go to her world. I want to pull her back, I want to tell her not to jump, I want to tell her not to fall for that scumbag… Please.”

The moonlight fell on my face, gentle like Xu Xingruo’s smile once was, but I knew this was just wishful thinking. I was just an ordinary reader, separated by the distance of a novel, forever unable to reach her or save her.

But I couldn’t stop praying. I remembered her stubbornness when Yang Changwen abused her, her reluctance when she last looked at An’an, and her final resolve when she jumped. Every image was like a knife twisting in my heart.

If there truly were a divine power, if transmigration were possible, I would pay any price, even my life, to stop her from reaching that tragic end.

I knelt there until my knees were numb and senseless, until my throat was hoarse and I couldn’t speak, until the moon gradually set and the sky began to turn a pale fish-belly white.

The wind outside grew colder, chilling my sweat-soaked back and making me shiver.

I slowly stood up, my legs weak, nearly causing me to fall. I gripped the curtain for support. Looking at the sky gradually brightening outside the window, my despair and prayers slowly settled into a heavy sense of powerlessness.

I knew my prayers would go unanswered. Xu Xingruo’s fate was sealed; I could never save her.

Yet, I still didn’t want to give up. I walked to my desk, opened a private document, and typed line after line: “Xu Xingruo, if you can hear me, if you haven’t jumped yet, please wait for me, okay? I will find you, I will save you. If you are already gone, then I will carry your wishes, live well, see the beauty of this world for you, and protect An’an for you…”

As I typed, tears flowed again, dripping onto the keyboard and blurring the text. I knew it was foolish, but it was the only thing I could do.

I closed the document and walked to the mirror. The person in the mirror was pale, eyes red and swollen, bloodshot, looking utterly exhausted. For the past few days, the matter of Xu Xingruo had ruined my appetite and sleep. I had lost weight and reverted to my former silent, gloomy self.

The warm light in the bathroom was hazy with steam. Hot water flowed over the tiles and into the white bathtub. The warm sensation, wrapped in the slightly cool air, wove a blurry net across the room.

My freshly washed hair was still dripping water. Droplets slid down my neck and into the collar, dampening the carefully chosen off-white silk shirt.

The shirt was beautiful; I had saved half a month’s salary to buy it. The collar was embroidered with tiny silver threads, making my already fair skin appear nearly transparent.

I stepped into the tub. The hot water covered my ankles, then my calves, finally reaching my waist. The warm sensation felt like a gentle embrace, yet it was suffocating.

Xu Xingruo’s face from the dream resurfaced in my mind. Her eyes were red from crying, her wet lashes stuck to her eyelids. Her voice, choked with sobs, repeatedly asked, “Why didn’t you save me?” Her pitiful appearance was like a fine needle, repeatedly piercing my heart.

For the past half month, I had been trapped by this fictional tragedy. During the day, I forced myself to handle work at the company, but the moment my fingers touched the keyboard, the image of her jumping from the 18th floor flashed before my eyes. At night, when I closed my eyes, I heard her tearful accusations, and even breathing felt like a suffocating pain.

I tried working frantically, tried having dinner with colleagues, tried uninstalling and reinstalling the novel app, but the emotions were like a tide that refused to recede.

The hot water reached my chest, bringing a sense of suffocating pressure. I slowly lay back, letting the water cover my shoulders. My nose was close to the surface, and I could smell the faint gardenia scent of the shower gel. “Xu Xingruo,”

I whispered softly, my voice trembling in the steam, “I can’t stand to hear you cry anymore… Wait for me. I’m coming.”

The water gradually covered my chin. The warm liquid entered my nasal cavity, causing a slight sting. I closed my eyes. The last image that flashed in my mind was her spirited appearance when she first entered the workplace, her confidence when she spoke eloquently to clients, the light in her eyes—the light that had once illuminated me and made me more cheerful.

If her ending was destined to be darkness, then I would accompany her, giving her the last bit of warmth in that fictional world.

Just as the water was about to cover my lips, there was a sudden, urgent knocking on the door, accompanied by Intern Lin’s tearful shouts: “Qiusheng Ge! Are you in there? I brought you your favorite strawberry cake! Please open the door, okay?”

The knocking grew louder, mixed with Intern Lin’s frantic sobs. It was like a hammer, shattering the deadly silence in the bathroom.

I snapped my eyes open. The water surface rippled, and the splashing water hit my face. The cold sensation instantly brought me back to my senses.