Paper Lover At Old Town Bookstore Chapter 8

She’s gone

I stared at the three characters for “18th floor.” My phone clattered to the floor, the screen still lit, the final paragraph like a needle dipped in poison, piercing my eyes with countless tiny stabs—

Xu Xingruo stood on the balcony, the evening wind lifting the torn hem of her clothes. The wound on her arm was still bleeding, mixing with the un-dried tear tracks and soup stains on her face, making her look heartbreakingly wretched. She didn’t cry or curse; she just stared intently at An’an in the cradle. The child was still crying, his small face red and purple, his cries hoarse, but they could no longer summon his mother’s embrace.

She took a deep, final look, her eyes filled with so many things: reluctance, guilt, despair, and a hint of relief. Then, without looking back or saying a word, she launched herself off the 18th-floor balcony.

The book didn’t describe the moment of impact, only Yang Changwen’s shock when he rushed to the balcony, An’an’s sudden cessation of crying, and the screams and police sirens that rose from below, piercing the entire night sky.

I slumped in my chair, all strength drained from my body. Tears poured down my cheeks like a bursting dam, splattering onto the floor and spreading into wet patches. I wanted to scream, to curse, to howl, but my throat felt choked with cotton. I could only manage suppressed sobs, and my chest ached as if it were about to explode.

How could this happen? How could it end this way?

She had clearly awakened, clearly mustered the courage to ask for a divorce, clearly fought against that scumbag—why did it still end like this? The 18th floor, so high. How much pain must she have felt when she jumped? How could she bear to abandon An’an? How could she just end her life like that?

I remembered her former self: the cheerful, brave professional woman who always wore a smile, the Xu Xingruo who stood up again and again in adversity, the Xu Xingruo who gave me countless amounts of courage. Yet, she ultimately left in such a tragic manner.

Yang Changwen, that beast! He not only betrayed her and subjected her to domestic violence, but he also destroyed everything she was! He is not human; he is a devil in human skin!

I curled up in the chair, hugging my knees, shaking uncontrollably as I cried. The me outside the book, just like Xu Xingruo inside the book, had completely broken down. I couldn’t bear to imagine what would happen to An’an now, following a piece of trash like Yang Changwen. Would he be properly cared for? And I dared not imagine what Xu Xingruo was thinking in the final moment before she hit the ground. Was it disappointment in this world, or guilt toward An’an?

The phone was still glowing on the floor. The comment section had exploded, filled with comments like, “Why kill Xingruo?” “May Yang Changwen die a horrible death,” and “I’m devastated, Xingruo is too miserable.” Every single message stabbed at my heart. It turned out I wasn’t the only one who had broken down, the only one who felt that Xu Xingruo had been wronged and deserved better.

I recalled my emotional journey following Xu Xingruo: from being infected by her and becoming cheerful, to worrying about her plight and reverting to introversion, then watching her fight back and sparking hope, only to be brutally thrown into hell by this ending. That feeling of falling from the clouds to the bottom of the valley was too painful.

I cried for a long time until my tears dried up and my throat was too hoarse to speak. Only then did the pain in my chest slightly subside. I slowly picked up my phone. The text on the screen was still paused on the final paragraph, every word seeming to mock my naivety. I thought justice would prevail, that Xu Xingruo would stage a comeback, that the scumbag would be punished. But reality (the reality within the book) had delivered a resounding slap to my face.

It turns out that not all kindness is rewarded, not all resistance leads to victory, and not all mistakes can be forgiven. Some damage, once inflicted, is devastating.

I closed the novel app, lacking the courage to open it again. My heart felt hollow, as if a piece had been gouged out, leaving only endless sorrow and anger. I thought of my own career experiences, the misunderstandings and difficulties I had faced. Compared to Xu Xingruo, those were nothing at all.

Yet, she was so brave, and still couldn’t escape the clutches of fate.

I walked to the window and pulled back the curtains. The sky outside was already bright; the sun had risen, illuminating the entire city. But inside my heart, it was pitch black.

I opened a private document and typed the final line, tears welling up again: “Xu Xingruo, may you find a world without betrayal, without harm, and without pain. May you be able to return to being the brilliant person you once were.”

After finishing, I closed the document and turned off my phone. I needed time, a very long time, to process this ending, to recover from this breakdown.

Xu Xingruo’s story had ended, but my life continued. I will remember her, remember her bravery, her resilience, and her tragedy. I will carry the courage she gave me and continue to move forward. I will also remind myself that no matter what difficulties I encounter, I must never easily give up my life, because only by living is there hope.