Paper Lover At Old Town Bookstore Chapter 5

“She” is pregnant

For the past three days, I had turned myself into a machine that only knew how to work.

I arrived at the company half an hour early every morning, opened my computer, and immediately started processing documents. Even when Intern Lin greeted me, I only nodded, offering no extra words.

During department meetings, I returned to my seat in the furthest corner. When Manager Lin asked if I had any thoughts on the new project, I gripped my pen, lowered my head, and after a long silence, only managed to say, “No opinion, anything is fine”—I had completely reverted to the introverted, timid Song Qiusheng who was afraid of drawing attention, just like when I first joined the company.

Sister Li noticed something was wrong and deliberately sat across from me during lunch. “Qiusheng, what’s wrong with you these past few days? You seem distracted, and you barely speak. You’re completely different from the cheerful person you were before.”

I shoveled rice into my mouth and mumbled, “It’s nothing, just a little tired.”

Only I knew that the string in my heart was constantly taut, ready to snap at the slightest touch. I didn’t dare to be idle. The moment I stopped, images of Xu Xingruo and Yang Changwen, the unfinished plotlines, and the overwhelming jealousy and anxiety in my heart would uncontrollably surface.

I could only work frantically, filling every moment with mountains of reports and proposals, forcing myself not to think about the novel, and not to think about Xu Xingruo.

But the more I suppressed it, the stronger the desire and fear became—I longed to know her ending, yet I was terrified of seeing her truly head towards an unhappy future, just like in my dream.

On the evening of the third day, I dragged my leaden body back to the apartment. I opened the door to a dark room, where only my phone screen was lit. My fingers seemed to have a mind of their own, uncontrollably tapping on the novel APP that I had put aside for three days.

My heart hammered in my chest. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and then dared to scroll down the screen.

There were more updated chapters than I expected, a full eight chapters. I quickly scrolled down, my eyes scanning the text. Every word felt like a needle pricking my heart.

Xu Xingruo and Yang Changwen’s relationship developed faster than I had imagined. After Yang Changwen confessed to her, she didn’t hesitate long before accepting; less than a month later, the two moved into a rented apartment together and started cohabiting. The book described scenes of them cooking together, watching movies together, and planning their future, which were so sweet they made my eyes sting.

But the turning point occurred in the fifth newly updated chapter.

Xu Xingruo discovered she was pregnant. When she happily told Yang Changwen, holding the pregnancy test report, the smile on his face instantly froze. A flicker of panic, and even a hint of imperceptible annoyance, flashed in his eyes.

My heart sank, and an ominous feeling washed over me.

Sure enough, Yang Changwen changed after that.

He was no longer as gentle and considerate as before. He no longer remembered that she didn’t like cilantro, nor would he stay up late to help her with work. He even started coming home later and later.

Xu Xingruo was pregnant and suffering from severe Morning Sickness. When she asked him to help her cook a bowl of porridge, he frowned and said, “I’m too tired today, just order takeout yourself.”

When she couldn’t sleep at night and wanted to talk to him, he would turn his back to her and impatiently say, “I have to work tomorrow, stop making a fuss.”

The eloquent, cheerful Yang Changwen who used to make her happy vanished without a trace. In his place was a cold, selfish, and irresponsible man.

Xu Xingruo tried to communicate with him, asking if he regretted it. He would always dismissively say, “No, you’re overthinking it,” and then continue playing games on his phone or hide on the balcony to make calls, keeping his voice very low so she couldn’t hear.

The descriptions in the book became increasingly heartbreaking. Xu Xingruo was already uncomfortable due to the pregnancy, and coupled with Yang Changwen’s Emotional Abuse, she became haggard and worn out.

She was no longer the confident, dazzling woman she once was. The light in her eyes was slowly extinguishing, and she spent every day cautiously watching Yang Changwen’s mood. Once, she accidentally broke a cup, and Yang Changwen flew into a rage, calling her “overly sensitive because she’s pregnant” and saying she “can’t do anything right.”

Seeing this, I couldn’t hold back my tears anymore. They rolled down my cheeks, dripping onto the phone screen and blurring the text.

I thought back to the brave, strong Xu Xingruo who would never bow her head, even when betrayed.

She was so good, she deserved the best treatment, so why did she meet a person like this? Why did she live her life so humbly, so pitifully?

In the final chapter, Xu Xingruo had severe Morning Sickness late at night and wanted Yang Changwen to take her to the hospital. But he came home drunk and not only refused but also cursed her for being “troublesome” and “disturbing his sleep.”

Xu Xingruo had no choice but to support her weak body and take a taxi to the hospital herself. In the cold hospital corridor, she sat alone on a bench, stroking the child in her belly, tears silently streaming down her face, like a kitten abandoned by the whole world.

The book wrote: “Xu Xingruo looked at the night outside the window and suddenly remembered the first time she met Yang Changwen, when he smiled and told her, ‘If the sky falls, I’ll hold it up for you.’ But now, the sky hadn’t even fallen, and he had already let go of her hand. She finally understood that some people’s sweet words were ultimately just a fleeting illusion.”

I covered my mouth, and stifled sobs echoed in the silent room. My heart ached as if it were being cut by a knife—there was pity for Xu Xingruo, anger toward Yang Changwen, and an inexplicable sense of grievance.

I knew it, I knew Yang Changwen wasn’t sincere toward her! That gentleness, that consideration, those sweet words, were just his tactics for pursuing women. Once he got what he wanted, once he faced something that required responsibility, he exposed his true nature.

Xu Xingruo was so smart, so clear-headed, so why did she misjudge him? Why was she so easily blinded by love, giving up her career and her pride?

I thought about my own state over the past three days, how I had hidden in work and reverted to the introverted, solitary Song Qiusheng because I was afraid of seeing a bad ending.

I suddenly felt that Xu Xingruo and I were somewhat alike—we were both so prone to relying on others, so prone to treating others as our Spiritual Support, but in the end, the only person we could rely on was ourselves.

The tears flowed harder, and my back trembled slightly from the crying. I felt sad for Xu Xingruo, and I felt sad for myself.

I was sad that she had met the wrong person, sad that her love had become a joke, sad that she had transformed from a brilliant career woman into a pitiful person secretly crying in a corner.

I turned off my phone and buried my face in my knees, my shoulders shaking with sobs. The room was quiet, only my crying echoed. I don’t know how long I cried, until my tears dried up and my throat was hoarse, but the pain in my heart hadn’t lessened at all.

I lifted my head and looked at the dark ceiling, my mind filled with Xu Xingruo’s wronged face.

What would she do next? Would she choose to leave Yang Changwen, or would she continue to endure for the sake of the child? Could she ever return to her former brave, confident self?

These questions hammered at my heart like countless small hammers, making me restless.

I picked up my phone again, my fingers trembling as I tapped open the comment section. It was full of readers’ anger and heartache. Some cursed Yang Changwen as a “scumbag,” some advised Xu Xingruo to “leave him quickly,” and some said, “Xingruo, wake up, don’t be foolish anymore.”

Seeing these comments intensified the anger and pity in my heart.

Yes, Xu Xingruo, please wake up. This kind of love, this kind of man, is not worth so much of your effort. You should return to the workplace, return to the stage that belongs to you, and become the brilliant self you once were.

I opened a private document and typed a line of text, tears welling up again: “Xu Xingruo, you must be strong, you must leave him. You deserve better, truly.”

After writing it, I no longer had the courage to read further. I was afraid of seeing Xu Xingruo continue to compromise herself, afraid of seeing even more heartbreaking plotlines.

I put my phone aside, lay on the bed, and stared at the ceiling with open eyes. A mixture of feelings churned inside me—heartache, anger, grievance, anxiety, and a sliver of hope for Xu Xingruo.

I hoped she would wake up soon, hoped she could stand up again, hoped she could once more become the Xu Xingruo I admired and drew strength from.

Tonight was destined to be another sleepless night. And all I could do was silently pray for her in my heart.