The Birds Keep Ringing Chapter 16
byThe old man pulled a booklet from his robe.
It was immediately clear that this booklet was not a proper secret manual. The cover was made of cheap, bright yellow paper, emblazoned with several large, wildly scrawled characters: “Guaranteed Success: Ten-Day Ascension Crash Course.”
The old man licked his finger, flipped open a page, and read in a singsong voice: “Take one live chicken, remove claws, remove skin…”
He flipped a few more pages, muttering, “Wait, this is the recipe for Auspicious Dragon and Phoenix Soup, the pages are mixed up…”
He rustled through several more pages and finally found the right section.
“Ah, here it is.” The old man cleared his throat. “Take one Spiritual Cat, place it in the furnace. At this time, the heat must be raised to medium. The Spiritual Cat will inevitably struggle and wail. Remember, do not show mercy, or all previous efforts will be wasted.”
The old man paused after reading this. “The Spiritual Cat has nine lives. With each death, the pill’s potency increases by one measure. Only when all nine lives are lost and the spiritual energy of heaven and earth converges, will the pill be complete.”
Yun Zhen felt a chill run down his spine. The process sounded cruel, but that was secondary; mainly, it seemed incredibly time-consuming.
Nine lives, dying one by one, being refined one by one. How long would this take? What if the cat was tenacious and dragged out its death in the furnace for three days and three nights?
Although he disliked cats, he didn’t want to see any creature tortured like this. At most, he just wanted to peck them a few times to vent his frustration—that was a civil dispute. Throwing them into a furnace for refinement elevated it to a criminal case.
The old man closed the book, looking troubled. He looked at the bird in the cage, then at the motionless cloth sack.
“Fox… what element does a fox belong to again?” He started scratching his head.
“A fox belongs to fire… a bird belongs to wood… wood feeds fire… if the fire gets too strong, the wood burns away, so I should put the bird in first.”
“But what if the bird belongs to water? Water and fire clash, wouldn’t that make the furnace explode?”
This was probably the difference between a professional and an amateur. Professionals in alchemy relied on intuition, like master chefs who didn’t need measuring cups or spoons, casually sprinkling salt and adding sugar, yet producing delicious food.
Amateurs were different; they had to follow the recipe strictly, fearing the taste would be off if they used one gram less salt. This old man clearly belonged to the latter category—the type who couldn’t cook without a recipe.
If the ingredient ratios were wrong and the resulting pill was poisonous, it would be troublesome. Although it was meant for the Emperor, if the Emperor died from it, the Lu Family would be ruined, and he, the alchemist, would suffer the consequences.
The old man mumbled, carefully tucked the booklet back into his robe, turned, and walked to a dusty bookshelf deep inside the alchemy room, where he began rummaging through books.
Yun Zhen breathed a sigh of relief. He wouldn’t die yet. He could tell that this old Daoist was a half-baked practitioner, likely hired by the Lu Family on short notice.
He quickly looked at the cloth sack next to him. The sack was bulging, and the fox inside was still, seemingly resigned to its fate.
“Senior Brother?” Yun Zhen called out in a low voice. “Senior Brother, are you still alive?”
The cloth sack moved.
Yun Zhen poked his head out and pecked the sack with his beak. The bag was made of some kind of animal hide and was very tough. Yun Zhen pecked for a long time until his beak felt numb before he managed to tear a small hole.
He pressed his eye to the hole, trying to see inside, but was startled to find a pair of golden eyes staring back at him.
Then, a furry paw reached out from the hole and rested on the cage door.
“Click.”
The door opened.
Yun Zhen: “…”
The next second, a snow-white fox slipped out of the cloth sack. It shook its fur, stretching elegantly as if it had just woken up.
Immediately afterward, a burst of white mist rose, and Senior Brother appeared before him. Dressed in spotless moon-white robes, his long hair cascaded down like a waterfall. He looked at the bird in the cage with a smile, his fox eyes curved into crescents, the corners slightly upturned.
“Little Junior Brother, am I that handsome? Are you stunned?”
Yun Zhen’s bird eyes were wide, but he dared not chirp loudly.
Inside, he was roaring: “How are you still wearing clothes!”
This was too unfair!
Why did Senior Brother’s clothes remain perfectly intact when he transformed back into a human, without a single hair out of place, while Yun Zhen was stark naked the last time he transformed?
“Alright, alright,” Xiao Fengzhi scooped Yun Zhen out of the cage. “Hurry up and get out. Your Senior Brother has serious business to attend to.”
Just as Yun Zhen flew into the air, he heard the old man’s voice from the corner: “Who’s there?!”
The old man rushed back, clutching a book, and stared at the man and the bird before him.
“A demon… a fox demon!” Far from being afraid, the old man’s eyes lit up with greed as he stared at Xiao Fengzhi. “A live one! Judging by its appearance, it’s at least three hundred years old! If I refine this…”
“Refine your head.”
Xiao Fengzhi flashed forward. Before the old man could react, his wrist was struck by a fan.
“Ah!” The old man screamed, and the dagger in his hand instantly dropped to the floor.
“You old thing,” Xiao Fengzhi used his fan to lift the old man’s chin. “How many lives have you taken? Today, you’ll get a taste of the furnace fire yourself.”
The old man’s eyes darted around, and he suddenly yelled, “Oh no, my back is bad!” He immediately collapsed onto the ground, simultaneously pulling out a yellow talisman from his robe with lightning speed and throwing it at Xiao Fengzhi.
The talisman transformed into a golden light in the air and slapped onto Xiao Fengzhi’s forehead with a pop.
The moment the talisman stuck, Xiao Fengzhi’s body froze. He was completely immobilized, as if under a binding spell.
“Hahaha!” The old man triumphantly scrambled up, dusting himself off. “This is the Demon-Binding Talisman passed down by my Patriarch! I don’t care if you’re three hundred or five hundred years old, you’ll have to submit to me!”
He circled Xiao Fengzhi, growing more satisfied with every look.
“This level of cultivation, this appearance.” The old man reached out to touch Xiao Fengzhi’s face. “The pill refined from this will surely be the finest of the fine.”
Yun Zhen circled in the air, frantic with worry.
But he was just a bird now. What good was being frantic? Peck the old man with his beak? The old man was thick-skinned; a hundred pecks probably wouldn’t even sting.
Master said he was an Auspice, a Divine Bird. Although these titles were made up by Master to scam people, what if… what if it was true?
An Auspice, by definition, should counteract demons and monsters.
But this talisman belonged to the Xuan Gate, which specialized in subduing demons. The talisman’s function was to detect demonic energy and suppress it.
Could an Auspice counteract a talisman?
Yun Zhen’s bird brain spun rapidly. Although his brain capacity was limited, he could still come up with an idea in a critical moment.
“Chirp!”
He couldn’t worry about it anymore; he had to try anything!
He grabbed a corner of the talisman with his beak and pulled hard.
The talisman didn’t budge, as if it had grown onto Xiao Fengzhi’s forehead. No matter how hard Yun Zhen pulled, it wouldn’t come off.
Yun Zhen refused to give up and continued pulling, even using his claws, scratching, tearing, and pecking with all his might. He was like a woodpecker frantically pecking at an especially hard tree, until his eyes saw stars and his beak felt numb.
“Hahaha!” The old man laughed so hard he doubled over. “Little bird, don’t waste your energy! This talisman is orthodox Xuan Gate magic. Unless you are an immortal descended from heaven, otherwise…”
His words caught in his throat before he could finish laughing.
The talisman suddenly began to heat up, becoming so hot that Yun Zhen quickly let go.
The talisman grew hotter and started smoking. The smoke was black and carried a burnt smell. Finally, it turned into a handful of ashes that fluttered down.
“How is that possible?!” The old man’s eyes widened in disbelief. “How could the Demon-Binding Talisman spontaneously combust! This violates the Daoist Principle of Nature! This… this…”
The Demon-Binding Talisman had circulated in the martial world for hundreds of years and had never failed.
But today, it encountered an unprecedented professional crisis.
It simultaneously sensed two completely opposite energies from Yun Zhen: one was the vast, righteous energy, completely orthodox and of the same origin as itself; the other was demonic energy, pure to the point of being purple.
This was like an official receiving two imperial edicts stamped with the same Imperial Seal—one ordering him to kill, the other ordering him to save. And the seals on both edicts were identical, making it impossible to distinguish the genuine from the fake.
The talisman didn’t know what to do, so it chose the simplest and most brutal solution: self-immolation.
“Thanks, Little Junior Brother.” Xiao Fengzhi rubbed his stiff neck.
There was a red mark on his forehead, which looked painful, but Xiao Fengzhi still wore his usual cynical smile. “I’ll treat you to roast chicken sometime.”
“Chirp!” (No!)
Yun Zhen thought that seeing chicken now only reminded him of almost becoming a roasted squab. He had no appetite whatsoever and might never eat chicken again in his life.
Just then, hurried footsteps and the faint sound of clashing weapons came from outside the alchemy room.
While the old man was distracted, Xiao Fengzhi delivered a chop to the back of his neck.
The old man rolled his eyes, foamed at the mouth, and gloriously passed out. Before collapsing, he grabbed Xiao Fengzhi’s robe corner and mumbled with his last ounce of strength, “My… immortal pill…”
Then he was completely unconscious.
“I’m exhausted.” Xiao Fengzhi stepped away in disgust, complaining, “I haven’t exerted myself like this in three hundred years.”
He touched his forehead. It was still hot, looking as if it had been branded with a hot iron.
Yun Zhen flew to his head and rubbed the red mark worriedly. “Chirp chirp?”
Xiao Fengzhi waved his hand, saying carelessly, “Even if I get a scar on this face, I’ll still be the most handsome man in the world.”
“…”
“I’m going to transform back over there first.” Xiao Fengzhi walked to a corner, turning his back to Yun Zhen. “The human form consumes too much energy; I need to rest.”
Another burst of white mist. A snow-white fox appeared in the spot, and the clothes he had been wearing were neatly folded on the ground.
Yun Zhen: Chirp? (Huh?)
The fox jumped onto the pile of clothes, licked its paw, and spoke in human language: “Are you wondering why I can still leave my clothes behind?”
“Chirp!”
“Because I transformed myself,” the fox tilted its head, looking innocent. “Whatever state you are in when you transform is the state you return to. That’s basic common sense, understand?”
It paused, then added, “Before I transformed into a fox just now, I took off my clothes and folded them neatly on the side. You weren’t transforming yourself; you were possessed by a Spiritual Sparrow, so you couldn’t do that.”
Yun Zhen: “…”
So that burst of white mist was just a distraction, specifically used to hide him taking off his clothes?
Yun Zhen was so angry he wanted to peck him.
The fox patted him with its tail. “Master left a divine consciousness on you. I estimate you’ll transform back into a human soon. Put on my clothes, and we’ll fight our way out together.”
As soon as the words fell, Yun Zhen felt his body heat up.
That familiar sensation returned. His body began to swell, his feathers started falling off, and his wings began turning into arms…
Yun Zhen screamed and fell from the air, landing on the ground.
When he came to his senses, he was human again, completely naked. He quickly scrambled up, not caring about the smell, and grabbed the clothes on the ground to put them on. The moment the clothes touched his skin, a pungent scent of heavy perfume rushed over, making him sneeze three times in a row.
“Senior Brother…” Yun Zhen looked like he was about to cry. “Can you please stop wearing so much perfume?”
The fox jumped onto his shoulder, wrapping its tail around his neck like a scarf.
“Look how elegant you look now. You’re a little beauty. If you drew your eyebrows and put on some rouge, you’d be a great beauty. Stop trying to imitate Second Junior Brother all the time; it doesn’t suit you.”
Yun Zhen disagreed. He looked down at himself and felt like a young male courtesan who had just escaped from a brothel.
“Forget it, forget it. It’s better than being naked.” Yun Zhen resigned himself. He looked around and found a wooden stick in the corner.
He weighed the stick in his hand. The weight felt decent. Although it wasn’t as good as a sword, it was better than fighting empty-handed.
The sounds of fighting outside had stopped at some point.
The alchemy room was eerily quiet.
Yun Zhen’s heart tightened. He gripped the stick and nervously stared at the doorway.
He heard footsteps getting closer…
The door was pushed open.
A dark figure stood in the doorway, silhouetted against the light. His face was obscured, but Yun Zhen could see a tall outline and the sword he held.
“Second Senior Brother!”
Yun Zhen threw the stick down and rushed forward, embracing the newcomer, startling the fox, which quickly jumped off him.
Only when he smelled the familiar scent of soap did he feel truly alive again.
“You scared me to death!” Yun Zhen said muffledly. “I thought I was going to be turned into a roasted squab! That old man had a tattered book that talked about how to refine a cat into a pill, refining its nine lives one by one…”
Yun Zhen grew more agitated as he spoke, hugging tighter and tighter, wanting to cling entirely to Jiang Zhi. He forgot that he was no longer a bird who could casually hang onto someone.
Just moments ago, when Jiang Zhi stood at the door, this was the scene before him:
An unconscious old man lay on the ground. The fire in the alchemy furnace was still burning, emitting a greenish-blue light.
Yun Zhen was disheveled, wearing a loose-fitting robe. The fluffy white fur around the collar made his skin look even fairer and his lips redder, giving him a surprisingly seductive appearance.
Yet, this beauty was clutching a dark wooden stick, his almond eyes wide, adopting a fierce stance that screamed, “I’ll smash your head if you come closer.” He even made a few clumsy practice swings, which ruined the aesthetic somewhat.
“…”
After a moment, just when Yun Zhen thought Jiang Zhi would push him away, Jiang Zhi’s hand slowly rose and rested on Yun Zhen’s back, patting him awkwardly.
“It’s alright.”
Yun Zhen hadn’t felt much initially. He was usually easygoing, even curious about what he would taste like before being thrown into the pot. But hearing those two words, his nose stung, and he almost cried.
He sniffled hard, holding back the tears. He was going to be a great hero; how could he cry in front of Second Senior Brother? It was too embarrassing.
“Flowing Cloud Sect is indeed full of hidden talents.”
A mocking voice came from the doorway. Lu Feng walked in, followed by several guards.
He glanced at the unconscious old man, then at Yun Zhen in Jiang Zhi’s arms, maintaining his gentle smile.
“A fox demon, a Spiritual Sparrow,” his gaze shifted to Jiang Zhi, and his smile deepened slightly. “And a monster.”
Seeing Lu Feng, Yun Zhen felt a little embarrassed. He intended to let go of Jiang Zhi, but he felt Jiang Zhi’s body instantly tense up, and the hand resting lightly on his back tightened abruptly.
Lu Feng looked at Jiang Zhi and said, word by word, “Cousin.”
Cousin?
Jiang Zhi was Lu Feng’s cousin?
“Nine lives for a cat, it seems that’s true.” Lu Feng sneered. “I truly didn’t expect you, the bastard child, to still be alive.”
Yun Zhen abruptly pushed Jiang Zhi away, taking a step back, looking at him in horror.
He wasn’t afraid of Jiang Zhi.
He was thinking of the book the old man had been holding, which was entirely about how to refine a Spiritual Cat into a pill.
Yun Zhen felt his stomach churn, and he nearly vomited.
Jiang Zhi clearly misunderstood. He saw the horror in Yun Zhen’s eyes, and the last ripple of emotion vanished from his own eyes, which were usually as calm as stagnant water, leaving only a palpable killing intent.
“Second Senior Brother…” Yun Zhen called out cautiously.
Jiang Zhi’s pupils were gradually narrowing into vertical slits, exactly like Lu Ting’s.
Author’s Note:
———————-
That’s right, our Flowing Cloud Sect is an absolute zoo [rainbow fart]. Zhen Zhen is just such a humorous and beautiful little bird [pity].
Also, cats and birds cannot be kept together, and this Second Senior Brother will not turn into a cat [glasses].