Sun Rain Chapter 26
byStepping into the bathroom and slamming the door shut, Fu Xuanliao’s breathing didn’t calm down until the warm water began washing over his head.
He knew he had been overly impulsive, speaking hurtful words against his true feelings, but in that situation, he had no choice.
Shi Meng was pressing him relentlessly, like a sniper with precise aim, targeting his vital points. With no cover nearby, all he could do was pick up a weapon with greater lethality and fight back, forcing the opponent to retreat.
Because this war had no right or wrong, only winning or losing. Whoever softened first lost, even if it meant ending up battered and bruised, with both sides suffering heavy losses.
The dusty, unbearable past was uprooted. Fu Xuanliao closed his eyes, letting the hot water steam up into a thick fog around him.
He remembered that year. Shi Mu had passed away not long before, and he hadn’t yet recovered from the grief when the difficulties faced by his family’s company dragged him into another bottomless swamp.
Therefore, when he was drugged and manipulated, he was enraged but helpless, like a fish on a cutting board, lying there waiting to be slaughtered.
Although the Shi family later intervened to suppress the scandal exposed to the public, preventing its spread, everyone in the circle knew the truth. When Fu Xuanliao later signed that contract with the Shi family, the outside reaction was mostly one of expected schadenfreude.
Time was like a slow anesthetic, gradually burying the shame and resentment. Suddenly waking up, he realized the heavy burden he had intentionally ignored and allowed to happen over the years.
To do such a thing while Shi Mu’s body was barely cold, regardless of the motive, was inherently unforgivable.
Understanding this, Fu Xuanliao dispelled the inexplicable guilt lingering in his heart. After showering, he returned to the bedroom and saw Shi Meng sitting hunched over on the edge of the bed, staring blankly. He couldn’t even muster up any anger.
Too lazy to waste more words on him, Fu Xuanliao walked around to the other side of the bed, lay down on his side, and planned to catch some sleep during the last hours before dawn.
Before long, the familiar movement, and the arm wrapping around his waist, sparked a ridiculous sense of irony in Fu Xuanliao’s heart.
To be insulted with such words and still act as if nothing happened.
Just moments ago, he was pecking like a fighting cock, and now he was pretending to be a docile little white rabbit again.
Actually, Shi Meng used to be docile. Fu Xuanliao still remembered the quiet child who always trailed behind him, and the handsome youth who would occasionally pass by the senior classroom doors after starting school, his gaze seemingly accidentally meeting Fu Xuanliao’s.
Fu Xuanliao couldn’t even figure out what had happened to him, why he had become like this.
If he had remained that docile, things wouldn’t have…
Their wrists touched, but he didn’t feel the highly noticeable Sapphire. Fu Xuanliao suddenly realized that since he proposed terminating the contract, Shi Meng hadn’t worn the necklace that had been converted into a bracelet.
He didn’t want what belonged to him, but he insisted on forcefully possessing what didn’t.
In a daze, Fu Xuanliao thought, he will never learn to behave, never.
Otherwise, they wouldn’t have reached this point of non-love-but-hate, non-life-but-death.
Perhaps due to consecutive days of sleep deprivation, or perhaps because the Fu family’s bed was very comfortable, Shi Meng woke up late again, well after sunrise.
As expected, Fu Xuanliao was no longer in the bedroom. Shi Meng got up, quickly washed up, dressed, and walked to the living room. He specifically glanced at the dining table a few times, but unfortunately, it was empty; Fu Xuanliao hadn’t left a note.
Jiang Rong came out of the kitchen when she heard the noise, smiling politely when she saw Shi Meng: “I made some simple breakfast. Have some before you leave.”
Shi Meng agreed and thanked her. When Jiang Rong brought out the plate, he remembered something and added, “Auntie, Happy New Year.”
The greeting came suddenly and the tone was stiff, surprising Jiang Rong a little. Thinking that the child was usually quiet and probably unaccustomed to dealing with elders, she understood better.
“Oh, Happy New Year,” Jiang Rong greeted. “Please sit. Just treat this like your own home, don’t be too reserved.”
Hearing that Fu Xuanliao and his father were out visiting several investors for New Year greetings, Shi Meng asked, “Is he coming back today?”
Jiang Rong said, “Hard to say. They have a lot of social engagements usually, so they’ll probably return after dinner.”
Shi Meng nodded. “Thank you, Auntie.”
Jiang Rong felt awkward and flustered by his constant thanking. She forked a piece of dragon fruit from the fruit bowl onto his plate. “Here, eat more. Didn’t you like dragon fruit…”
Even though she quickly stopped speaking, the deep magenta fruit had already landed on the plate in front of Shi Meng.
Recalling the unruly stories she had heard from many people, and knowing she was the main driver behind the contract termination, Jiang Rong expected Shi Meng to be angry, or at least show offended indignation.
Instead, he just stared at the dragon fruit on the plate for a moment, then picked it up with his chopsticks, put it in his mouth, and calmly said “Thank you” again.
After eating, Shi Meng offered to help wash the dishes while Jiang Rong wiped the table. With nothing else to do, she stood by the sink, unable to help, and made small talk: “I never saw you do chores at home before. I didn’t realize you were so skilled.”
Shi Meng thought for a moment and said, “I can also cook.”
He placed the clean bowl aside, picked up another from the sink, and continued, “I can take very good care of Fu Xuanliao.”
Jiang Rong initially didn’t understand why he was saying this. It wasn’t until she remembered how clean and tidy Fu Xuanliao’s room was when she returned from abroad that day that she realized Shi Meng might be trying to impress her.
Thinking back to Fu Xuanliao saying he “couldn’t avoid him fast enough,” it was hard not to feel pity for this child who was so clumsy even in his attempts to please.
“Xuanliao, he looks big and strong, but he’s actually a bit of a blockhead, and his mouth is especially bad at speaking. If he has offended you, I hope you can be patient with him.”
Jiang Rong’s words were tactful, but Shi Meng wasn’t stupid. With the un-terminated contract still in place, he naturally understood the underlying advice.
Shi Meng never took such kind words for granted. He clearly understood that Fu Xuanliao harbored resentment and had no obligation to accommodate him.
Therefore, he treasured every hard-won kindness.
“No, he treats me very well,” Shi Meng said to prove his point. “He let me stay last night and even cooked noodles for me.”
Jiang Rong was momentarily stunned, seemingly not expecting Shi Meng’s answer. Then she turned around, grabbed a dry towel, and stood nearby, wiping the residual water from the bowls.
As she wiped, she said, “When this apartment was renovated, we didn’t consider the convenience of doing housework, especially the kitchen. The cooking auntie complained to me about many issues, including the stove being too far right against the wall, making it easy to bump your arm when stir-frying, and the overhead light being positioned incorrectly, blocking the light when chopping vegetables.”
“I always thought these weren’t real problems, that if you got used to it, overcame it, and just made do, it would be fine,” Jiang Rong continued. “But now, after living here for several years, the auntie still occasionally complains that the kitchen facilities are inconvenient. When I thought about it carefully, I realized my previous insistence was quite unreasonable. It was just stubbornness, an unwillingness to admit the design was flawed.”
The gentle, narrative tone made Shi Meng’s hand, submerged under the running water, pause.
“I understand now. I plan to invite a designer over after the New Year to re-plan and renovate the kitchen.” Putting down the wiped bowl, Jiang Rong pointed to the cabinet below the stove side. “I plan to install a dishwasher here. That way, if I cook a few small dishes myself, I won’t have to worry about no one wanting to wash the dishes.”
Seeing Shi Meng frozen there, clearly having understood the hidden meaning, Jiang Rong felt a pang of reluctance but had to harden her heart and finish her point.
“You see, stubbornly sticking to a known mistake will only lead to nothing in the end. And…” She told Shi Meng, “As you’ve seen, there is nothing, no person or object in this world, that cannot be replaced.”
Sitting in the car on the way back, Shi Meng received a call from Jiang Xue.
“Happy New Year!” Jiang Xue, back in her hometown, was in good spirits and asked cheerfully, “Have you eaten dumplings?”
Shi Meng said, “Not yet.”
Jiang Xue was happy to perform a live eating broadcast: “That’s perfect! Look at these dumplings my mom made—thin skin, generous filling. One bite, wow—the juice flows everywhere, it’s so fragrant.”
The sound of a middle-aged woman laughing came from the background; it must have been Jiang Xue’s mother.
After wishing the family on the other end a Happy New Year over the phone, Jiang Xue first laughed at Shi Meng for sounding like a robot reading a speech when he said “Happy New Year.” Then, she unceremoniously stuffed another dumpling into her mouth and continued to tempt him: “Super delicious, Meng Meng, do you want some?”
Shi Meng was polite enough to hum an affirmation.
Jiang Xue hummed contentedly. “I told you to come home with me for the New Year, but you refused.”
“I was with Fu Xuanliao yesterday,” Shi Meng said.
The other end of the phone went silent for a moment. “You went to find him?”
“Yes.”
“Didn’t you say he… didn’t want to see you?”
“So I went to find him.”
“I think you should just get a pair of handcuffs and chain that Fu guy at home, save you the trouble of looking for him everywhere.”
It was a joke, but Shi Meng seriously considered the possibility and asked, “Where do they sell handcuffs?”
There was a long silence on the other end of the line.
When the background noise faded, as if she had moved to a quiet place, Jiang Xue spoke again: “You’re a year older now. Logically, I shouldn’t interfere with your private matters, but I’m really worried about your current state.”
Another person trying to persuade him to let go.
Shi Meng didn’t want to listen, but hanging up would be impolite, so he pursed his lips and lowered his head, picking at his fingers.
Jiang Xue rambled on, the main point similar to what Jiang Rong had said, but from Shi Meng’s perspective, considering his well-being and fearing he would get hurt.
“Love is only love when both are willing. Even if you are certain about him, if he can’t reciprocate the same love, you have to learn to give some of that love to yourself.”
Hearing this, Shi Meng reacted slightly: “To… myself?”
“Yes, be kinder to yourself. It’s not your fault if others don’t stay for you. Isn’t my past experience enough to illustrate the problem? Didn’t you advise me the same way before?”
Yes, I did advise that. Shi Meng thought, but what is the connection between “it’s not my fault” and “giving love to myself”?
What do I have that is worth loving?
Everyone already hates me.
The person named Shi Meng has been an object of disdain wherever he went since childhood. Even he himself disliked who he was. How could anyone be willing to love him?
—Everyone is afraid of you, everyone wants to stay far away from you.
Fu Xuanliao’s words were branded in his mind like a curse, causing Shi Meng, who was bathed in sunlight, to shiver violently.
Then he took a deep breath.
Since he can never love me—Shi Meng told himself, then so be it.
It can only be this way.
A week later, on the seventh day of the New Year, Shi Huaiyi hosted a dinner, inviting the Fu family of three to their home.
Believing that progress had been made on the contract termination, Fu Qiming and Jiang Rong were in good spirits. On the way, they instructed Fu Xuanliao to treat Li Bihan to a separate meal later.
“To resolve this so quickly, it seems your Auntie Li put in a lot of effort,” Jiang Rong said. “We should have asked her for help from the start, saving me all that useless effort.”
Fu Xuanliao didn’t ask what useless efforts she meant. He was focused on the thought that if Li Bihan truly helped make it happen, he would be stuck between a rock and a hard place and would have to agree to the cooperation.
He wondered what Shi Meng’s reaction would be after losing the Shi family shares—would he be indifferent, furious, or perhaps… would he be disheartened by Fu Xuanliao’s involvement?
With a mixture of curiosity and apprehension, they arrived at the Shi family home, where Shi Huaiyi himself greeted them at the door.
Shi Sihui was not home. Li Bihan only elegantly came downstairs when dinner was served. She briefly greeted everyone and sat down, remaining silent afterward, seemingly without much appetite, barely touching her chopsticks.
Shi Huaiyi, however, was enthusiastically pouring wine for everyone and smiling warmly, urging them to eat. A person of high status adopting the attitude of someone asking for a favor made Fu Xuanliao feel vaguely uneasy.
His father, Fu Qiming, shared the same concern and found an excuse to start a conversation: “I know Sihui is busy with work, but what about Xiao Meng? Why didn’t you call him down to eat with us?”
“Oh, he’s busy packing his luggage in his room,” Shi Huaiyi said, putting down his chopsticks and wiping his mouth with a napkin, as if he had something important to announce.
“Speaking of which, the reason I invited you all over this time is to ask for a small favor.”
The three members of the Fu family exchanged glances. This time, Jiang Rong spoke: “Please tell us. Anything we can do…”
“Of course, you can do it. With the relationship between our two families, why would I ask you for something impossible?”
Shi Huaiyi smiled and said, “It’s actually a small matter. Meng Meng has decided to go back to school to continue studying painting. That school is far from here, but it’s close to your house. I was thinking, why not let him move in with you? The two young people can look out for each other…”
Before he could finish, Fu Xuanliao abruptly stood up. “What about the contract? When will it be terminated?”
Perhaps surprised by his impatience, Shi Huaiyi paused, then said lightly, “That contract was essentially meaningless anyway. With the relationship between our two families, and your relationship with Meng Meng, why would we still need such a thing…”
Fu Xuanliao couldn’t listen anymore and strode toward the stairs.
Just then, Shi Meng finished packing, carrying his suitcase downstairs, and ran right into Fu Xuanliao climbing the steps.
Their footsteps stopped. One above, one below, they faced each other across four or five steps. They were very close, yet felt as distant as if separated by a galaxy.
Shi Meng saw raging flames burning in Fu Xuanliao’s eyes, scorching the sky and earth, as if he wanted to devour him whole.
Apart from shock and confusion, there was only the familiar hatred.
This is the expected reaction when a plan is disrupted, Shi Meng thought. If it were me, I would be even worse, perhaps wishing to grind the culprit’s bones to dust.
But this hatred was like a raging fire against the wind, long and continuous. Initially, it would burn and sting, but later, when the wound scabbed over and healed, an itch would surface, urging one to scratch.
So, even knowing the wound might tear open or even become infected, Shi Meng couldn’t stop his hand from reaching forward.
Yesterday evening, in the study downstairs, Shi Huaiyi listened to Shi Meng’s request and was very confused.
“Although this isn’t a major issue, Meng Meng, in my opinion, you don’t have a reason to choose him and only him.”
“He saved me,” Shi Meng said.
And only he can save me.
“He cannot be replaced,” Shi Meng added.
So, the more others said Fu Xuanliao could be replaced, the more he wanted to prove them wrong.
No one had ever taught Shi Meng how to love himself, so naturally, he didn’t know how to love others properly.
He only knew through his own reactions that love was exclusive, selfish, utterly undignified. It involved jealousy, madness, a hideous appearance, and the birth of endless malice.
“Shi Meng,” Fu Xuanliao said, almost grinding his teeth. “What exactly do you want to do?”
The corner of his mouth curved upward. Shi Meng looked down at Fu Xuanliao a few steps below, adopting the condescending posture of a victor.
And a victor doesn’t need to answer questions; they only need to issue commands.
Carrying his luggage downstairs, Shi Meng glanced at the messy dining table. He turned his head and, in the most ordinary tone, said to Fu Xuanliao, who stood motionless on the stairs: “Finished eating? Then let’s go.”