After Being Transformed Into Cannon Fodder For Death, The Heartthrob Chapter 36
byYe Qingyun heard his own heartbeat.
Thump after thump, louder than Gu Shenyuan’s, as if it wanted to burst out of his chest.
Ye Qingyun could clearly feel his ears burning.
It was incredible. Gu Shenyuan, a cold and aloof god who had always remained single and never paid attention to how others spoke sweet nothings, how could he be so good at saying romantic words?
Ye Qingyun’s mind was a mess, but even so, he could clearly distinguish that what Gu Shenyuan said wasn’t flowery, deceptive sweet talk. Every word Gu Shenyuan spoke came from the heart.
He wasn’t some cold, hard stone. Under such sincerity, to say he wasn’t moved even a little bit would absolutely be a lie.
Moreover, he had seen all of Gu Shenyuan’s kindness toward him over this period. These feelings slowly accumulated, finally reaching a threshold that caused the scales in Ye Qingyun’s heart to begin tipping toward the other side.
He wasn’t sure if he liked Gu Shenyuan now, or if he held the same passionate feelings for him, but why couldn’t he try things out with Gu Shenyuan?
The only reason he wanted to leave before was to distance himself from the plot, live a peaceful life, and avoid further trouble.
But now he didn’t want to distance himself from the plot anymore. He was willing to face the plot alongside Gu Shenyuan. Wouldn’t that be good too? As for the System saying he would die in three months, he could try negotiating with the System to stop the plan, or simply die, be reborn, and then come back to find Gu Shenyuan.
If they were together…
Ye Qingyun remembered something, his expression hardening. He reached out and patted Gu Shenyuan’s shoulder. Instead of voicing his inner thoughts directly, he offered comfort: “What are you thinking? I’ve been watching you all along.”
Gu Shenyuan didn’t speak, but hugged Ye Qingyun even tighter.
For Gu Shenyuan, this answer was already satisfying enough.
It was enough. As long as Ye Qingyun was willing to look at him, willing to give him attention, his goal was already partially achieved.
Besides him, Ye Qingyun would not have any contact with anyone else.
Gu Shenyuan felt a sharp pain in his head. It was the Bloodline constraint preventing this thought. Clearly, this thought was deemed an intent to harm Ye Qingyun.
Gu Shenyuan’s thinking was not hindered by the pain at all; instead, it became more aggressive.
All of Ye Qingyun’s attention was on him. One day, this focus would accumulate, making Ye Qingyun completely accustomed to his presence. He would integrate into Ye Qingyun’s life like air, omnipresent.
Gu Shenyuan didn’t let go of Ye Qingyun. He held him and carried him back.
The bedroom they had been sleeping in before had just had a death in it and was no longer habitable. Gu Shenyuan turned a corner and carried Ye Qingyun into another bedroom.
This bedroom was furnished no worse than the previous one, but this room didn’t have two beds; only one large bed was placed right in the center.
Ye Qingyun held back, but couldn’t resist exposing Gu Shenyuan’s previous lie: “Didn’t you say there was only one room available for sleeping? Is that why you had to sleep in the same bedroom as me back then?”
“Mm.” Gu Shenyuan didn’t change his expression. “There was only one room then, and there is only one room now. No matter when, there is only one room.” Gu Shenyuan paused, then added, “And now there is only one bed left.”
Ye Qingyun: “…”
That lie was too half-hearted! Who would believe it?
He didn’t know how much Emotion Separation Agent Gu Shenyuan had inhaled. He hoped Gu Shenyuan would return to normal tomorrow. Otherwise, if he constantly had to face this strange Gu Shenyuan, he feared he wouldn’t last long.
Ye Qingyun flopped onto the bed in frustration, feeling the other side of the bed sink down.
Gu Shenyuan’s hand reached over, hovering in the air for a moment, then finally descended and gripped Ye Qingyun’s wrist.
“I’m holding you.” In the darkness, Gu Shenyuan said darkly, “You can’t run away.”
Ye Qingyun felt helpless and said to Gu Shenyuan, who clearly had no intention of sleeping and planned to stare at him 24/7: “Alright, hurry up and sleep. You won’t be handsome with dark circles, and then I won’t look at you.”
Gu Shenyuan stopped talking. He didn’t release Ye Qingyun’s wrist, but he finally closed his eyes.
The next day, Gu Shenyuan was noticeably back to normal.
When Ye Qingyun saw that Gu Shenyuan was no longer terrifyingly gloomy but had returned to his usual calm demeanor, he was so moved he almost cried.
Ye Qingyun quickly stated that he knew everything Gu Shenyuan had said before—about keeping him on one planet forever and not letting him leave—was nonsense due to the potion, and he wouldn’t mind it, urging Gu Shenyuan not to dwell on it either.
Gu Shenyuan handed Ye Qingyun a glass of juice, remained silent for a moment, and then whispered, “It wasn’t nonsense.”
Ye Qingyun: “???”
Gu Shenyuan: “It was my true thought from the bottom of my heart.”
Ye Qingyun’s hand trembled, nearly spilling the juice onto himself.
Gu Shenyuan took the glass away from Ye Qingyun, wiping the back of his hand where a little juice had spilled. He lowered his dark lashes, concealing the emotion in his eyes, and softly said, “Don’t be afraid. I will try my best to respect your wishes.”
Ye Qingyun was successfully reassured and let out a sigh of relief.
That’s right. Everyone has dark thoughts; it’s no big deal. Gu Shenyuan in his normal state would definitely be able to control himself and not act on them.
Ye Qingyun finished his breakfast and headed to the laboratory.
This time, he was going to solve a major problem.
He already had a lead on the experiment, so progress was rapid. Ye Qingyun was prepared to hand the Antidote over to Gu Shenyuan soon.
However, after yesterday, Ye Qingyun found his resolve to give the Antidote to Gu Shenyuan wavering.
It was inevitable for people to have a dark side, and he was no exception.
After realizing his feelings for Gu Shenyuan, Ye Qingyun’s mindset regarding the research underwent a subtle change.
If he gave the Antidote to Gu Shenyuan, the constraint on Gu Shenyuan would be lifted. What if one day Gu Shenyuan stopped liking him and simply left?
If he stopped making the Antidote, then… Gu Shenyuan wouldn’t have the chance to leave voluntarily.
All the initiative would be in his hands. He could wait until the day he no longer liked Gu Shenyuan, then give him the Antidote and leave without any psychological burden.
Ye Qingyun opened the laboratory door and saw the equipment laid out inside. He sat down in the chair and slowly reached for the experimental tools, but he didn’t start today’s research.
He hadn’t directly told Gu Shenyuan yesterday that he wanted to try being with him because he was worried about this very issue.
Right now, he and Gu Shenyuan hadn’t had any truly intimate contact, so he could still make a rational judgment. If they really engaged in actions like kissing or negative-distance contact, he might not be able to maintain this mindset when facing the problem.
Should the research continue? Should he give the Antidote to Gu Shenyuan?
The door was pushed open, making a slight sound. Ye Qingyun looked back and saw Gu Shenyuan standing behind the door, quietly watching him.
Ye Qingyun was so startled his hair stood on end. He snapped, “What are you doing?”
Gu Shenyuan didn’t speak. He seemed to have come only to confirm Ye Qingyun was still there. After confirming Ye Qingyun’s safety with his own eyes, Gu Shenyuan silently departed again.
Startled like that, Ye Qingyun’s entire conflicted brain straightened out. When he recovered, he wanted to slap his past self.
What was he thinking? Dating was dating, and the Antidote was the Antidote. If the other person didn’t want to date anymore, could he really force them to stay by his side? Wouldn’t that be thuggish? Moreover, the Bloodline constraint was a rogue treaty, forcing Gu Shenyuan to obey him. If he unfortunately died early, it would drag Gu Shenyuan to the grave with him. How could that be right?
Bah! He was a good young man raised under the red flag, a moral paragon, a model citizen, yet he had bred so many thoughts that didn’t align with Marxist-Leninist ideology. He was truly ashamed of all the Party classes he had attended!
This wasn’t love; this was just to satisfy his selfish desires. He couldn’t do this.
He decided that after researching the Antidote, watching Gu Shenyuan drink it and seeing it take effect, he would confess to Gu Shenyuan. As for whether he could keep the man, that would depend on his own abilities!
Ye Qingyun reignited his fighting spirit and threw himself into the research.
Throughout the research process, Gu Shenyuan didn’t know what he was doing, thinking he was researching the Stone of Love. Occasionally, he would ask Ye Qingyun if he had enough research materials, offering to provide more if needed.
Ye Qingyun politely declined Gu Shenyuan’s offer to provide more materials while pondering a recent difficulty.
He heard that a certain master had once researched this problem and written a book about it. It would be great if he could find that book for reference.
He wondered if Gu Shenyuan might have it… Forget it. He heard that the book was extremely rare. Unless someone was genuinely interested in Pharmacology, they probably wouldn’t happen to possess that book.
Gu Shenyuan looked at Ye Qingyun’s furrowed brow and asked, “Did you run into trouble?”
Although Ye Qingyun didn’t hold out much hope, he mentioned casually, “Do you know where I can find Pharmacology by Leo Randolph?”
Gu Shenyuan subconsciously replied, “It’s here.”
After saying this, Gu Shenyuan realized his mistake and immediately shut up.
…He did have that book, but it was filled with his notes. What if Ye Qingyun became suspicious because of those notes?
For example, wondering why he was interested in researching potions, or why he wasn’t conducting that research anymore.
What if Ye Qingyun discovered that he had boarded the ship initially to find Ye Qingyun and ask him to teach him how to make the Antidote for the Bloodline constraint, or perhaps even an Emotion Separation Agent? What would Ye Qingyun think?
Would Ye Qingyun be hurt by his ulterior motives, or angry about his attempt to use him?
He understood that even if Ye Qingyun didn’t care about him now, factually speaking, from the moment he fell in love with Ye Qingyun, he was already Ye Qingyun’s possession.
He had studied this kind of psychology extensively and knew that when the owner of a possession discovered that object had once tried to use them, there was a high probability of anger and dissatisfaction, perhaps even thinking he was too scheming to be trusted and needed constant vigilance.
Ye Qingyun’s attitude toward him had finally softened. He couldn’t let such a small matter ruin everything.
Ye Qingyun’s eyes lit up: “Really? Quick, quick, let me see!”
Gu Shenyuan coldly refused: “No, I misremembered. There is no such book here.”
“Huh?” Ye Qingyun glared at Gu Shenyuan in dissatisfaction. “Who are you trying to fool? I told you the author’s name and the book title so clearly. You say you misremembered? If you didn’t remember it clearly, given your personality, how could you answer so quickly?”
Gu Shenyuan refused again: “There really isn’t. My memory isn’t that good.”
Ye Qingyun didn’t believe Gu Shenyuan. He stood up and ran toward the location of the study that Gu Shenyuan had once mentioned to him. He remembered something and stopped to issue a warning to Gu Shenyuan.
“Don’t secretly use your Ability to destroy it! Do you know how precious that book is?” Ye Qingyun threatened Gu Shenyuan with a serious expression. “If I find out, I will… I will never speak to you again! I’m not kidding!”
Ye Qingyun turned and left, leaving Gu Shenyuan standing there watching his retreating back.
Gu Shenyuan closed his eyes in agony.
Ye Qingyun’s threat was highly effective on him. He truly couldn’t ignore such a threat and destroy the book. He could only watch Ye Qingyun leave.
It was over. He was about to be discovered.