CCWAD – Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve: The Absurd Diagnosis of the Imperial Medical Bureau

Epigraph:

“I thought the Imperial Medical Bureau was a life-saving straw, but it turned out to be a scene of social death. When that old imperial physician, with hair as white as snow, trembled and pointed at me, saying ‘This is a sign of Yin and Yang imbalance,’ I just wanted to explode on the spot.”

—

For Yan Qing, the next three days felt like an eternity.

She both hoped that the old imperial physician would possess some skill and provide a “reasonable” explanation for her strange bodily condition, and she deeply feared any uncontrollable accident that might occur during the diagnosis. She sat restlessly in her inn room, repeatedly rehearsing how to describe her “illness” to the imperial physician, even fabricating several versions of the details about “yin-cold palm force” that he might inquire about.

During this time, she had not been idle. Using the ample silver provided by Lu Junyi, she cautiously gathered information within Eastern Capital. She needed to understand the court’s latest movements regarding Liangshan, and she needed to familiarize herself with the power distribution in Bianliang, especially information related to Li Shishi and even that “Official Zhao.” However, being unfamiliar with the place and afraid to be too conspicuous, her findings were very limited, making her increasingly feel that this imperial capital was as deep as the sea.

On the evening of the third day, Yan Qing once again stepped into Fan Lou at the appointed time.

In the same private room, Li Shishi was already waiting. Today, she wore a lotus-root-colored ruqun, and her hair was meticulously styled. She lacked some of the languor from that night and possessed more competence.

“Young Master has arrived,” she said with a slight nod, without any unnecessary pleasantries. She directly handed over a folded slip of paper. “Go to this address and say I sent you. Remember, do not make a sound. He will be there before Hai Shi.”

Yan Qing took the slip of paper. It felt slightly cool to the touch. Written on it in elegant script was an address, located in the west of the city, not the official residence of the Imperial Medical Bureau as she had imagined. She felt doubt in her heart but dared not ask further. She solemnly put it away and said, “Thank you, everyone.”

Li Shishi looked at her, her gaze lingering for a moment on Yan Qing’s overly tense shoulders. She said faintly, “Imperial Physician Chen is advanced in years, and his temper… is a bit peculiar. Young Master, please bear with him.”

Peculiar? Yan Qing’s heart sank, a sense of foreboding washing over her.

Following the address, Yan Qing wound through streets and alleys, arriving before a rather secluded courtyard in the west of the city. The courtyard walls were mottled, and the wooden gate was ajar. If she hadn’t been certain that Li Shishi wouldn’t play a trick on her, she would have almost thought she had found the wrong place.

She took a deep breath and pushed the door open.

The courtyard was tidy, with common flowers and plants. A faint, bitter medicinal fragrance filled the air. An old man with white hair and beard, wearing a faded old Taoist robe, was bent over, facing away from her, laboriously pounding something in a small mortar.

“Excuse me… are you Imperial Physician Chen?” Yan Qing cupped her hands, her voice very soft.

The old man’s movements paused, and he slowly turned around. His face was deeply wrinkled, like parched earth, but his eyes were not clouded. Instead, they held a childlike curiosity and scrutiny as he sized Yan Qing up.

“Li girl sent you?” His voice was hoarse, like a worn-out bellows.

“Indeed.” Yan Qing quickly presented Li Shishi’s token (a keepsake Li Shishi had given her earlier).

Imperial Physician Chen took it, glanced at it casually, and then tossed it aside. His gaze remained fixed on Yan Qing. He walked around her twice, his nose twitching slightly.

Yan Qing felt a chill crawl up her spine, feeling like a fish on a chopping block, being assessed for freshness.

“Hand,” Imperial Physician Chen finally stopped and uttered two words.

Yan Qing extended her right hand as instructed. Imperial Physician Chen’s dry, withered fingers, covered with age spots like a chicken’s claw, rested on her wrist. His fingertips were ice-cold, and his touch was rough, causing Yan Qing to involuntarily flinch.

Time passed slowly. Imperial Physician Chen closed his eyes, his brow furrowing deeper and deeper. Occasionally, he would let out sounds like “Eh?” or “Hmm…” Yan Qing’s heart pounded with his expressions, almost leaping out of her chest.

After a long while, he released her hand and gestured for Yan Qing to switch to her left hand. Another long silence ensued.

Finally, he opened his eyes, staring at Yan Qing with an extremely peculiar expression. He slowly said, “Young man, your pulse… is very strange.”

Here it comes! Yan Qing held her breath.

“The superficial pulse seems to have yang energy, but the deep press reveals yin softness,” Imperial Physician Chen stroked his beard, shaking his head and murmuring. “Sometimes fast, sometimes slow, sometimes strong, sometimes weak, yin and yang intertwined, utterly chaotic… it is absolutely not caused by ordinary external injury or internal damage!”

He suddenly leaned close to Yan Qing, almost touching her face. His cloudy eyes flickered with excitement (?). “Speak! Have you come into contact with anything extremely yin or extremely cold? Or… have you practiced some evil art?”

Yan Qing was startled and took half a step back. She gritted her teeth and answered according to her prepared speech: “I… I have not come into contact with anything special. It’s just that a month ago, I was injured by a scoundrel with yin-cold palm force…”

“Nonsense!” Imperial Physician Chen interrupted her unceremoniously, his spittle almost spraying onto her face. “What kind of yin-cold palm force can cause such a pulse? This is clearly… a sign of the foundation of one’s being being shaken, and then being agitated by external forces, leading to… imbalance of Yin and Yang, and chaos of the Five Elements!”

Yin, Yang, Imbalance?!

Yan Qing’s vision went black, and she almost fainted on the spot! This old man, with the most academic and serious tone, had delivered a diagnosis that was closest to the truth and most socially mortifying for her!

“Imperial Physician… are you, are you sure?” Yan Qing’s voice trembled as she tried to struggle weakly. “It’s just… an imbalance of Yin and Yang?” The phrase sounded so much like menopause or endocrine disorder!

“I have been practicing medicine for decades, how could I be mistaken?” Imperial Physician Chen snorted with self-satisfaction. He circled Yan Qing again, his gaze sweeping over her Adam’s apple (barely there), chest (flat but with subtle lines), and hips (too slender), muttering to himself, “No wonder… no wonder Li girl asked me to see… it is indeed strange…”

Yan Qing: “!!!” What exactly did Li Shishi tell this old man?!

“Then… is there a cure?” Yan Qing asked with a sliver of hope. If it could be “regulated,” could she return to being a “normal” man? Although her heart was female, the state of this body was truly too awkward!

Imperial Physician Chen stroked his chin and pondered for a long time before saying, “Cure? Difficult, difficult! This is a change in the foundation, not something that medicine can easily reverse. I can only prescribe some medicine to help you regulate your qi and blood, stabilize the current situation, and prevent it from continuing to… well, ‘imbalance’.”

He walked to a desk piled with miscellaneous items and covered in dust, grabbed a worn-out brush, and scribbled a prescription on the back of a piece of scrap paper. He handed it to Yan Qing: “Get the medicine according to the prescription. One dose daily. Take it for a month and see. Remember, during this period, avoid impatience and anger, cultivate a calm mind, and be abstinent, especially… absolutely avoid intercourse!”

He said the last four words with particular earnestness and gave Yan Qing a meaningful glance.

Yan Qing took the ink-stained prescription, which looked like a doodle, her face flushing and paling. She wished she could find a hole to crawl into. She felt that she had lost all her face for this lifetime today!

“Tha… thank you, Imperial Physician.” She thanked him through gritted teeth, carefully folded the “socially dead diagnosis letter” worth a thousand taels, and tucked it into her robes.

“The consultation fee has been paid by Li girl,” Imperial Physician Chen waved his hand, as if shooing away a fly. “Go, go, do not disturb this old man’s medicine pounding.”

Yan Qing felt as if she had been granted amnesty and practically fled from this small courtyard that had caused her so much emotional and physical trauma.

Back at the inn, Yan Qing looked at the prescription and the diagnosis of “Yin and Yang imbalance,” unsure whether to laugh or cry.

What was this? A bodily change caused by transmigration, diagnosed by an ancient imperial physician as “Yin and Yang imbalance”? In a way, this diagnosis was… quite accurate?

But no matter what, this diagnosis from a “professional” became her best protective charm. At least, in front of Lu Junyi and even the Liangshan heroes, her transformation finally had a “scientific” (?) explanation.

However… Li Shishi. Was her introduction of this Imperial Physician Chen truly out of goodwill, or did she have ulterior motives? Had she already glimpsed more of the truth from this bizarre diagnosis?

Yan Qing looked out at the night view of Bianliang and her wariness of Li Shishi deepened.

This extraordinary woman, confined to a brothel, her methods and insight were far more terrifying than she appeared.

—

(End of Chapter Twelve)