BC Chapter 161

“I’m not dreaming, am I…” Looking at the person in front of her, who felt both strange and familiar, as if she had lived through an illusionary life in the short time they’d been apart, Yao Jinglin couldn’t quite believe it. For a moment, she even wondered if this was an illusion of her consciousness after death.

But the tactile sensation from her fingers and the powerful heartbeat she felt where their bodies were pressed together proved the reality of the scene to Yao Jinglin.

If she didn’t know that the crisis they faced hadn’t been resolved, what Yao Jinglin wanted to do most at this moment was to bury herself in Lu Ziming’s arms and cry her heart out. Although she had never been seen as a weak person by those around her, only she knew that that wasn’t the real her. It was just that, throughout her life, those around her had projected too many expectations onto her, to the point where the soft-hearted her didn’t want to disappoint or hurt them, even if it meant forcing herself.

But after experiencing a near-death experience, her entire way of thinking suddenly became much clearer. It wasn’t until her life was about to end that she realized that the trajectory of her previous life wasn’t controlled by her own will. She was merely living the life that those around her hoped for—which, to her, was a false and unreal life. She had suppressed her true self for so many years, and only now did she realize how deeply she was bound by the so-called love of those around her.

They kidnapped her in the name of love, and placed themselves on the moral high ground, doing things that were essentially complete control while still using the guise of “for your own good.” This was a complete emotional scam, even more hateful than the ‘love scammers’ in pig butchering scams. After all, one is just a lie for a period of time and ultimately only cares about the little savings in your pocket, while the other is completely distorting your entire life.

Those who truly love you and want the best for you will never start from their own interests, but will fully respect your ideas in everything, provide feasible suggestions, and ultimately give you the complete right to choose. Allowing you to be an independent and complete self, both physically and mentally. After all, those successful people have all achieved greatness and become masters by sticking to their beliefs and persevering. Which of them succeeded after being controlled by others from a young age? A controlled person is a puppet shell without thought. How can an empty body give birth to a great soul with a unique charm in the world?

But the old her was too foolish, foolish enough to believe the fallacies of those around her, forcing herself, changing herself, suppressing herself, and conforming to everyone. To the point that when her training in the military ended, she talked to her friend He Linglong about her future career plan to take the civil service exam, and He Linglong rolled her eyes and said, “Don’t always listen to others too much.” She couldn’t understand it at the time. She even felt that He Linglong’s idea was destroying the image of her family in her heart, and she had a fight with her.

But thinking about it carefully, Linglong was completely different from her. She had never cared about other people’s opinions from childhood to adulthood. She made her own decisions and chose her own path in everything. In her words, “I’m living my own life, and it’s nobody’s business, because no matter what I do, who I listen to, I’m the one who has to take responsibility for it in the end, so whether it’s right or wrong, I’d rather be responsible for my own choices than pay for someone else’s mistakes. Most importantly, I believe that my values and judgment will not lead me to make the wrong choices.”

The original her felt that Linglong had an innate confidence and a unique personal charm. Now that she thinks about it, she was just insisting on being the only version of herself in the world. Instead of being someone’s children, someone’s parents, or someone’s pride.

She was proud of herself in everything and didn’t need to get anyone’s approval or recognition first.

So, having figured these things out, Yao Jinglin decided that after surviving this near-death experience, she would also start to live her life to become herself. And the first thing she would do was to learn not to hide her emotions and feelings anymore, to face the thoughts in her heart, and to live without suppressing herself.

She wanted to see Lu Ziming in order to confirm whether the inexplicable throbbing that always appeared in her heart was because of Lu Ziming, and what kind of feelings she had for her. Now that she had seen her, she finally understood that she, who had never had a romantic experience in her twenty-plus years of life, was truly moved by the woman in front of her.

She had never experienced the feeling of liking someone, and she couldn’t say whether the relationship between a man and a woman was better than the combination of a general male and female relationship. She only cared about the person in front of her, regardless of her gender, so she didn’t have time to think about other issues. All she wanted now was to be able to stay by her side and watch her.

Thump, thump, thump… The steady and solemn heartbeat slowly accelerated, causing Yao Jinglin’s gaze towards Lu Ziming to become more fervent.

However, at this moment, although Lu Ziming felt the somewhat fanatical gaze of the woman in her arms, she had to shift her attention to the white-clothed man she had ambushed.

To be honest, her mind was still a little dazed about the current situation. That is to say, she actually hadn’t figured out why, in this crisis where humans and zombies were completely opposed, there would be two guys who clearly weren’t ordinary people harming the general public.

Although her memory hadn’t recovered, it was impossible for her to stand on the opposite side of humans and help zombies kill humans. So, she and Xu Rubing had basically been clearing the zombies they encountered along the way these days, whether they were ordinary zombies, petite super-speed zombies, or huge heavy zombies, the two of them solved them without hesitation every time, and became more and more tacit in their constant cooperation, and their bodies also adapted to the changes after the second mutation. Because they knew that as long as they solved one more zombie, they would give the surviving survivors a better chance of survival. But what were these two people in front of her doing? They were obviously doing something even more heinous than zombies, helping the evildoers.

Of course, Xu Rubing wasn’t so kind at first, following Lu Ziming to do this kind of unprofitable, thankless thing. But later, she wavered, because she didn’t want Lu Ziming after amnesia to return to her previous cold attitude. So she didn’t say anything and willingly became Lu Ziming’s little follower.

There was no way, who told her she liked her? Tsk, the person who likes first will eventually be humble. She understood all the principles, but this was not something she could control, so she had no choice but to silently follow.