SYLM Chapter 75

Chapter 75 “Gu Wan Jun, I don’t like you anymore.”

Chapter 75 “Gu Wan Jun, I don’t like you anymore.”

Summer night, heavy rain pouring outside the window, as if to submerge the entire world. Raindrops beat against the glass, making a dense sound, vibrating every nerve, trying to awaken some sleeping memories deep in the mind.

Inside the house, Gu Wan Jun was busy tidying up the master bedroom, the sheets and duvet cover had been changed to clean ones, and the air was filled with a pleasant scent of white tea.

On the other side, in the side bedroom, Chen Lu and Duo Duo leaned against the headboard. Duo Duo’s little head rested on Chen Lu’s lap, holding a fairy tale book in her hand, her eyes sparkling as if filled with stars.

“Sister Lu Lu, you tell stories so well, just as good as my mommy.”

Duo Duo’s voice was soft and sweet. She had already yawned several times, but she still refused to close her eyes. Her fair little hands tightly grasped the corner of Chen Lu’s clothes, as if afraid that her favorite Sister Lu Lu would suddenly disappear.

Innocent words from a child, the little dumpling’s words were like a tiny needle, gently pricking Chen Lu’s heart, causing a slight tingling pain. With complicated emotions, she looked down at Duo Duo and gently touched the little girl’s head, without saying a word.

Chen Lu knew that Gu Wan Jun had a pleasant voice.

She also knew how much she wanted to forget that voice.

“Sister Lu Lu, you’re even prettier than in the photos!” Duo Duo suddenly raised her head, blinking her eyes, and said innocently.

“Photos?” The topic changed too quickly, Chen Lu was taken aback, pretending to ask casually, “What photos?”

“The one Mommy hides under her pillow, the one with you wearing a white scarf.”

“……”

Duo Duo’s voice was crisp and melodious, like the chirping of birds in the morning, but it made Chen Lu’s heart sink suddenly.

Memories flooded in like a tide, bringing bone-chilling coldness.

If she remembered correctly, the photo Duo Duo was talking about should be the one taken during the Chinese New Year when she was in the second grade of high school.

The scarf was a New Year’s gift from Gu Wan Jun. On New Year’s Eve, Gu Wan Jun said she wanted a photo of her to see if the scarf suited her.

Did Gu Wan Jun still keep that photo?

She was the one who said it was just a teacher-student relationship back then, she was the one who said she was getting married, and she was still the one who kept such useless photos for five years. Gu Wan Jun, what is this supposed to mean?

Chen Lu sneered in her heart, her fingers unconsciously clenched the corner of the quilt.

The innocent little girl in the blanket didn’t notice the change in the face of the Sister Lu Lu beside her. Duo Duo’s soft voice was still saying to herself:

“Mommy often stays up late at night and gets up to look at Sister Lu Lu’s photos. Sometimes she cries while looking at them. A few times I asked Mommy what was wrong, and she said it was because Sister Lu Lu’s novels were too touching, that’s why she was crying.”

“……”

The corners of Chen Lu’s mouth twitched slightly, and she forcibly resisted the urge to gasp.

She really was speaking without thinking. Crying while reading a suspense novel? Where had all the smooth talk gone before? Gu Wan Jun, you’re really not qualified to be a Literature teacher.

“Mommy also said that Sister Lu Lu is her favorite student…”

Duo Duo shared her heart with her favorite Sister Lu Lu on her own. Her soft voice gradually lowered imperceptibly, and the yawns that followed one after another were filled with drowsiness. But she didn’t know how many times Gu Wan Jun had said “like” in front of this little dumpling. That little mouth seemed to never finish sharing:

“Sister Lu Lu, Mommy always mentions you. She says you’re smart, she says you’re beautiful, she says you’re cute, she says you’re…”

“Enough.”

Chen Lu suddenly interrupted Duo Duo’s words, her voice a little hoarse.

She didn’t want to listen anymore. Those words were like an old, dull knife, slowly cutting open her already scabbed wound.

Duo Duo was startled by Chen Lu’s reaction. The little girl shrank her neck, her big eyes blinked, and she asked in a low voice, “Sister Lu Lu, what’s wrong with you?”

Realizing that she had overreacted, Chen Lu took a deep breath, squeezed out a smile again, and tried to make her voice sound calm: “It’s nothing. It’s getting late, Duo Duo, you should go to sleep.”

“But I still have so much to say to Sister Lu Lu.”

“Didn’t Duo Duo promise Sister that as long as Sister stayed, Duo Duo would be obedient?”

“……”

Hearing this, as if she remembered her promise, the little dumpling had no choice but to nod her head and close her eyes obediently.

Chen Lu gently patted Duo Duo’s back until the little girl’s breathing became steady and even. Only the rustling rain was left in the room, wetting Chen Lu’s eyes.

Abandoned by her mother at birth, losing her beloved grandmother in the second grade of junior high school, and being abandoned by Gu Wan Jun after giving away a sincere heart… Looking back on her first eighteen years, she seemed to have never been anyone’s first choice.

During her years of studying in Canada, she studied desperately in order to forget Gu Wan Jun. For so many years, she never mentioned Gu Wan Jun, and blocked all news about this name, in order to completely kick this person out of her life.

Gu Wan Jun was just a coward who bowed her head to worldly fate. She was the same as everyone else, and in the end she would abandon her and give her up. What was there to like about such a person?

Chen Lu always told herself this.

Until the day before returning to China, during a video call with Fu Yi Wen, she accidentally heard Tang Ying outside the screen saying that she was going to continue introducing potential partners to Gu Wan Jun. Only then did she know that Gu Wan Jun had never married.

She was the one who said she wanted to find a father for Duo Duo and righteously said that she didn’t like her, but what about the result? What was it now?

Why had she been single for five years?

Why did she keep useless photos and stay up late at night to look at them until she was in tears?

Why did she say those ambiguous words in front of her daughter?

Why did she look so deeply in love when they met?

Gu Wan Jun, what is this supposed to mean? So-called deep affection?

Late affection is worth less than grass.

Unable to pick it up, unable to put it down, self-inflicted emotion, self-deception.

Chen Lu’s expression was cold and stern, and her tightly knit brows were full of dissatisfaction. But at the same time, that scarred heart hidden under the armor still ached faintly because of that name that had appeared in her nightmares countless times.

She shouldn’t have softened her heart and stayed tonight.

After confirming that Duo Duo was sound asleep, Chen Lu tiptoed out of bed. Before leaving, she didn’t forget to cover the little girl who had entered dreamland with the quilt.

Turning off the light and walking out of the room, Chen Lu ran into Gu Wan Jun, who had just come out of the master bedroom.

Gu Wan Jun was wearing a loose home robe, her long hair casually tied behind her head. Time seemed to be particularly fond of her. Five years had passed quietly, but her face had become even more moving. Those affectionate peach blossom eyes were still the same as before. Her eyes swirled as if hiding endless charm and tenderness, like a vintage wine, the longer it aged, the mellower it became, making people intoxicated.

Their eyes met briefly. Chen Lu moved her gaze away without showing any expression on her face, but in fact, she was gritting her back teeth.

She was regretting her unwise decision to soften her heart and stay tonight.

“Is Duo Duo asleep?” Gu Wan Jun broke the silence in a low voice, her voice filled with a hint of caution.

“Yes.” Chen Lu nodded, her tone indifferent.

“Thank you for your trouble.” Gu Wan Jun smiled, trying to ease the awkwardness between them.

Chen Lu didn’t respond, but turned her head and looked at her coldly, her eyes without any warmth.

Gu Wan Jun felt half of her heart chilled by such a gaze. She couldn’t figure out where she had stepped on the little girl’s minefield again. She felt uneasy in her heart, but her voice was still as gentle as possible:

“We only have two rooms in our house. Why don’t you squeeze in with me?”

“No, I’ll sleep on the sofa.”

Chen Lu refused without hesitation, her tone carrying a hint of unquestionable firmness.

“How can you sleep on the sofa? You’re not in good health, you’ll catch a cold, go to bed and sleep.”

The anxious tone hid a trace of strength that Gu Wan Jun herself hadn’t noticed. Whether it was five years ago or now, Gu Wan Jun would always open a rare emotion blind box because of Chen Lu’s problems.

This kind of secret and ambiguous strength was only for Chen Lu.

But the current Chen Lu would no longer cooperate.

“No need, I dare not forget what Teacher Gu said back then.”

The young girl’s tone was cold, and every word was like a sharp knife, piercing straight into Gu Wan Jun’s heart. The beautiful and dignified face instantly lost all color, and her lips, which had been freed from lipstick, trembled slightly. Gu Wan Jun looked at Chen Lu, her voice a little choked:

“Lu Lu, I…”

“Gu Wan Jun, I don’t like you anymore.”

The clear and cold voice was calm and indifferent, as if stating a simple fact.

These words were telling Gu Wan Jun, and also warning Chen Lu herself.

Outside the window, a flash of lightning ripped through the night sky, followed by a deafening thunderclap. The torrential rain was the same as the rainy night five years ago, as if to submerge the entire world.

That night, Gu Wan Jun also stood in front of her like this, using the same cold tone to tell her—leaving aside the teacher-student relationship, Chen Lu, I have never liked you.

Five years had passed, but those scars and pains still lay between them, like an insurmountable chasm, with no end in sight.

She couldn’t repeat the same mistake.

Life was painful enough as it was now.

If the past were to happen again, Chen Lu wasn’t joking, she would really die.

In the end, Chen Lu still slept on the sofa in the living room.

She didn’t even want to wear the pajamas that Gu Wan Jun gave her, so she curled up on the sofa in her shirt and jeans.

Gu Wan Jun couldn’t resist Chen Lu, so she could only stand at the bedroom door, looking at the thin figure on the sofa, tears falling silently. She knew that she deserved all of this, but she still couldn’t help but feel heartache, pain to the point of trembling all over, pain to the point of being unable to breathe.

The rain continued, and two scarred hearts were like being emptied, leaving only endless exhaustion and despair.

This night was destined to be sleepless.

The next day, as soon as it began to dawn, Chen Lu, who hadn’t slept all night, got up from the sofa to leave. The next second, the bedroom door opened.

Two pairs of eyes filled with bloodshot met in the air. Gu Wan Jun walked up to Chen Lu, her voice very soft, her tone carrying a hint of expectation: “Eat something before you leave, I’ll make you breakfast.”

“No need.” Chen Lu refused coldly, her tone without a trace of warmth.

“Last night, Duo Duo also said that she wanted to say good morning to her Sister Lu Lu today.”

Gu Wan Jun forced a decent smile, but her voice carried a hint of pleading, as if Duo Duo was her last bargaining chip to keep Chen Lu.

One second, two seconds, three seconds… No one knew what Chen Lu was thinking in those few seconds of silence.

Meeting Gu Wan Jun’s peach blossom eyes, which were surging with fine water, Chen Lu sneered, only leaving Gu Wan Jun with a cold profile, and even the ridicule didn’t carry any warmth:

“Gu Wan Jun, your daughter isn’t omnipotent with me.”

After saying that, Chen Lu pushed the door open and left without looking back, leaving Gu Wan Jun standing in place, her eyes gradually turning red.

The fatigue of not sleeping all night surged into her brain, making her feel dizzy in front of her eyes. Gu Wan Jun closed her eyes as if resigned, letting the tears fall.

In the elevator.

Chen Lu’s face was pale, her fingers were digging into her palm, her knuckles were white. It took her a long time to calm down her emotions, until she raised her hand and touched the cold liquid on her face, did she completely calm down.

She was glad that Duo Duo hadn’t woken up.

She was also glad that she hadn’t looked at Gu Wan Jun’s eyes.