HR Chapter 53
by VolareTo the extreme, the worst outcome is just death. Si Cheng Houzai’s anxious and concerned attitude made Si Cheng Zhengli feel disgusted and ridiculous.
Withdrawing his hand, Si Cheng Zhengli gave the usual instructions, seemingly without anything special. However, Si Cheng Houzai truly paid attention and discerned a different meaning. He asked, “What do you mean by trying to sleep less or not at all?”
Si Cheng Zhengli didn’t even look at Si Cheng Houzai, paused slightly, and continued, “If you really can’t hold on, then fall asleep. Don’t force yourself. It’s not important anymore.”
Mu Linxian was half-reclined, a blanket covering him to his waist, holding a hand warmer. Hearing this, he smiled faintly, “I know.”
“Don’t get caught in the wind again. Don’t get out of bed until your cold is better.” Knowing that Mu Linxian hadn’t listened, Si Cheng Zhengli didn’t want to strongly persuade him. Everyone has their own reasons for persisting, even if it’s painful, they enjoy it. If the person himself doesn’t care, what can he do if he cares?
Mu Linxian was already feeling drowsy and nodded, looking like he was about to fall asleep immediately.
Seeing this, Si Cheng Zhengli carefully closed the door for Mu Linxian and left quietly with Si Cheng Houzai.
Perhaps it was due to old age, but Si Cheng Houzai had become exceptionally sensitive to some things in recent years, and he was always very accurate in his guesses. As a renowned doctor of his generation, Si Cheng Houzai could see that Mu Linxian probably barely had a few days left.
Humans are contradictory beings. When they can’t obtain or achieve something, they go crazy and resort to any means to reach it. But when they’re about to succeed, they become fearful.
Si Cheng Houzai had wholeheartedly wanted Mu Linxian to disappear, but now he was conflicted. He also hoped that Mu Linxian could live to see how long he would last.
The mountain wind carried a hint of coolness. Si Cheng Houzai’s steps were slow. With each step, he could clearly feel the inconveniences brought about by old age, which made him crave the unrealized result even more. The guilt in his heart gradually lessened, turning into a sense of entitlement.
The next day, Si Cheng Houzai, with even more feeble steps, visited again. Mu Linxian, even half-reclined, looked very strained. His eyes were swollen, with faint dark circles underneath, clearly indicating a sleepless night.
Mu Linxian squinted, not moving even slightly at the sound of footsteps, only letting out a barely perceptible sigh.
Why bother? At the end, he wouldn’t even be given peace.
Si Cheng Houzai didn’t come to talk to Mu Linxian; he simply wanted to see him, so he came. He sat on the chair beside the bed, his hands resting on his cane. His already cloudy eyes calmly gazed at Mu Linxian, not particularly intensely, but intently focused.
Mu Linxian moved his neck and parted his lips slightly: “What are you here for again?”
Si Cheng Houzai didn’t answer, only speaking when Mu Linxian was about to fall asleep: “I didn’t think you would come back. Actually, I’m happy that you could return, no matter in what capacity. You’ve always been my pride.”
Mu Linxian slowly opened his eyes, his lips stiffly curving upward: “I thought your pride was Du Yu.”
“After meeting that woman, Du Yu was no longer my pride.” This was the source of Si Cheng Houzai’s hatred for that woman. Originally, Si Cheng Duyu could have lived a life without any ties, focusing solely on his research, until that woman appeared, and everything changed.
Now that the era of needing a man and woman for procreation to pass on the family line was over, if you wanted children, you only needed to provide sperm and eggs and a uterus. You could have as many as you wanted.
Look, Si Cheng Zhengzhe and Si Cheng Zhengli are doing well. They have the best genes, surpassing most human genes from the moment they were sperm and eggs. They surpassed most people from the starting line.
Mu Linxian nodded and closed his eyes.
He understood Si Cheng Houzai’s meaning. Since science could be used for pregnancy, why bother with love, wasting time and energy.
Speaking of which, Si Cheng Zhengzhe and Si Cheng Zhengli were quite pitiful. They existed only because they were needed, and their value was only that one point.
But wasn’t it that crucial point that gave them their reason to exist?
That crucial point of theirs was something that he and Xiao Qi envied their whole lives. Comparing people is infuriating.
Si Cheng Houzai sat for a short while and then left.
Mu Linxian drifted between being half-asleep, half-awake, not knowing the passage of time.
Suddenly, it seemed like he was back fifteen years ago, at the scene when he met Xiao Qi.
At that time, Xiao Qi was already five years old. His small face was thin, making his eyes appear particularly round and dark. His face was pale, and the corners of his lips still had traces of medicine that hadn’t been wiped clean. He frowned, looking bitter, and his eyes were filled with glistening tears.
The first thing he asked upon seeing him was, “Why aren’t you wearing a mask?”
Mu Linxian replied, “I am wearing a mask, but you can’t see it.”
Xiao Qi stared blankly at his face for a while, then suddenly smiled, “Smile for me, let me see.”
Mu Linxian tugged at the corners of his mouth, and Xiao Qi’s wrinkled little face tightened, unflinchingly criticizing, “So ugly.”
Despite calling him ugly, he ran over and tightly grabbed his hand, saying with conviction, “You’re different from them. We can be friends. My name is Jian… Qilu, you can call me Xiao Qi.”
“Xiao Qi…” Mu Linxian called out, vaguely hearing someone call, “Fifth Brother.”
It felt like his hand was being held, just like back then, cold, bone-chilling.
Mu Linxian’s eyelashes fluttered, barely opening a crack in his eyes. His vision hadn’t focused yet, only seeing a blur of shadows. He forced a smile, weakly saying, “Why are you here?”
Xiao Qi changed from sitting to kneeling beside the bed, holding Mu Linxian’s hand, stretching his neck as far as he could to bring his face closer so that Mu Linxian could see him clearly. Seeing that Mu Linxian’s eyes had regained clarity, he replied, “I couldn’t help it, so I came.”
“How did you come?” Mu Linxian’s tone was clear and cold, yet also extremely gentle.
Xiao Qi smiled and said, “Grandpa doesn’t restrict me anymore. As long as I don’t leave the mountain, I can move around as I please.”
Mu Linxian raised his hand, and Xiao Qi lowered his head to place it under his hand. Mu Linxian gently caressed him, whispering, “That’s good, I’m relieved too.” Saying that, he closed his eyes again.
Looking at the dark circles under Mu Linxian’s eyes, Xiao Qi felt a pang of unbearable sorrow. His eyes unknowingly filled with tears, but he didn’t blink, just staring, staring until his nose felt sore, and he tearfully spoke with a low nasal tone, “Fifth Brother, go to sleep, I’ll watch over you.”
Whether Mu Linxian heard him or not, he closed his eyes, his face peaceful.
Xiao Qi felt the hand in his grasp gradually losing its vitality. The tears he had been holding back for so long finally fell. Xiao Qi raised his hand to wipe them away, pressing Mu Linxian’s hand against his face, closing his eyes.
After three days and three nights of comparison, the results came out. Undoubtedly, it was still a failure.
Xiao Qi had a long sleep. After waking up, he heard the news from Lu Qinyuan. He smiled smugly: “As long as I’m the test subject, their results will always be a failure.”
Lu Qinyuan felt saddened by Mu Linxian’s departure. Seeing Xiao Qi actually able to smile so heartlessly at this time, he felt both glaringly offended and heartbroken, scolding, “Stop smiling, it’s uglier than crying.”
Xiao Qi was stunned, but still smiled, “Lu Qinyuan, you can’t scare me, I’m not afraid of you.”
Lu Qinyuan pulled him into his arms, feeling an indescribable pain in his heart.
Xiao Qi stubbornly continued, “Do you know why? I often secretly reduced the dosage of the medicine. A tiny difference leads to a huge error. How could they succeed?”
Lu Qinyuan nodded, not wanting to say another word.
Xiao Qi’s mood suddenly became depressed: “Lu Qinyuan, am I very useless? Using myself as a bargaining chip, I’m the one who was seriously injured, and in the end, nothing really changed.”
“Don’t say that,” Lu Qinyuan said, “You’ve done very well.”
After Mu Linxian’s departure, Xiao Qi slept for two days and two nights, and after waking up, he developed a habit of being lethargic, often sleeping for a whole day, as if entering a state of hibernation.
Si Cheng Zhengli said, “His body can no longer withstand it, and he can only prolong his life by reducing his tolerance through sleep. Let him sleep if he wants to sleep, don’t disturb him.”
Lu Qinyuan said, “He will die.”
Si Cheng Zhengli smiled: “You don’t need to say something that was already known. Besides, being able to die in his sleep is also a blessing for him.”
Lu Qinyuan didn’t care, always waking Xiao Qi up at mealtimes, taking food and feeding him bit by bit. Xiao Qi reluctantly ate two bites, then fell asleep again. Lu Qinyuan shook him again, and he begged for mercy: “Fifth Brother, stop it, sleepy!”
In that instant, Lu Qinyuan felt as if a knife had pierced his heart. He shook Xiao Qi awake again, forcing him to look at him: “Who am I? Look carefully and then say! Who am I!”
Xiao Qi was half-awakened by the shouting, looking dazed for a long time, rubbing his eyes and saying, “Lu Qinyuan is so fierce…”
Only then was Lu Qinyuan satisfied and let him continue to sleep. As long as Xiao Qi mistook him for someone else, Lu Qinyuan would stubbornly wake him up, only letting him rest after he recognized who was who.
Si Cheng Zhengli found this behavior both amusing and exasperating, but he didn’t interfere. He never yelled at Xiao Qi again, always speaking softly.
Sometimes, when he was examining Xiao Qi, Xiao Qi would wake up, blurringly not being able to distinguish who was who, and then offend people by saying, “Big Brother, you’ve come to see me.”
“I’m Second Brother.” Facing such a Xiao Qi, Si Cheng Zhengli didn’t dare to yell, afraid of scaring away Xiao Qi’s weak soul.
“No,” Xiao Qi insisted on his own opinion, “Second Brother wouldn’t talk like that. Second Brother is very fierce.”
Si Cheng Zhengli wanted to get angry, but he held back, patiently admitting, “Alright, alright, whatever you say is right. I won’t argue with you.”
Xiao Qi slept longer and deeper, no matter how Lu Qinyuan shook him, he wouldn’t wake up. Lu Qinyuan often woke up in the middle of the night in fright, reaching out to check Xiao Qi’s breathing. Finding that he was still breathing, he would relax and lie down, only to check again a little while later.
One day, Xiao Qi woke up and suddenly said to Lu Qinyuan, “Lu Qinyuan, I don’t want to sleep.”
Looking outside, he added, “Take me to bask in the sun, I can’t walk.”
Lu Qinyuan carried Xiao Qi to the lounge chair, pulled a thin blanket over them, and Xiao Qi, with his eyes slightly closed, talked to Lu Qinyuan intermittently.
“Today is Qixi Festival, we have to celebrate it.”
Lu Qinyuan gently caressed Xiao Qi’s hair with one hand, softly humming in agreement.
Xiao Qi asked, “Don’t you have anything to say to me?”
“No,” Lu Qinyuan chuckled softly, “How would I dare lie to you.”
Xiao Qi also smiled, “Even if you lied to me, I would believe you.”
Lu Qinyuan shook his head, not saying anything.
After waking up this time, Xiao Qi slept for a week straight. No matter how Lu Qinyuan shook him, Xiao Qi never woke up again, until the fifteenth day of the seventh month. The sky had just brightened, still covered in a layer of gray, when suddenly Xiao Qi’s voice was heard: “Lu Qinyuan, the sun is about to come out.”
Lu Qinyuan hadn’t been asleep the whole time, and immediately asked, “Want to see the sunrise?”
Xiao Qi hummed in agreement, saying, “The sunrise on Zhaoyao Mountain is the most beautiful. I’ll accompany you to see it one last time.”
Lu Qinyuan responded with a “okay,” wrapped Xiao Qi in a blanket and carried him outside to the lounge chair. Xiao Qi nestled in Lu Qinyuan’s arms, his eyes closed, the corners of his mouth slightly raised, with a look of relief and peace.
Today happened to be a cloudy day, and the sun was not only coming out slowly but also shrouded in a dark haze.
Xiao Qi seemed not to see it, asking Lu Qinyuan, “Is it beautiful?”
Lu Qinyuan nodded, “Beautiful.”
Xiao Qi was then content, seeming to have lost all his strength, and went limp in Lu Qinyuan’s arms, breathing evenly, suddenly calling out, “Lu Qinyuan!” His voice suddenly lowered, and after a long while, a weak murmur was heard: “…I’m sorry.”
Lu Qinyuan was stunned, covering his face with one hand, remaining silent for a long time. Suddenly, tears welled up from between his fingers, dripping down, like butterflies with broken wings fluttering their wings, one after another falling on Xiao Qi’s face.
Xiao Qi and Min Chu were not alike at all. The reason Xiao Qi was able to attract him in the beginning was probably because they were the same kind of person.
Therefore, no one owed anyone anything, no one was right or wrong, there was no love, so there was no betrayal, let alone hatred.
This “I’m sorry” was not what he, Lu Qinyuan, wanted.