TTOA Chapter 134

#134

Seo Eui-woo quietly stared into the steaming pot. His eyes, usually indifferent when looking at food, were gleaming with a hint of interest today.

“That, you’re perhaps…”

Kwon Jae-jin, as if possessed, followed an old habit. He carefully picked out a well-cooked piece of meat, cooled it, and held it out to Seo Eui-woo.

Seo Eui-woo didn’t refuse the rib piece offered right in front of his lips. He opened his neat lips and obediently accepted the piece of meat. He savored the juices and texture, chewing it thoroughly for a long time before slowly swallowing it.

Only his Adam’s apple moved quietly up and down in his straight neck.

Kwon Jae-jin silently held his breath and watched the scene.

Seo Eui-woo’s three deeply rooted imbalances.

The first was insomnia, and the second was anorexia.

He’d been sleeping well since the beginning, but his appetite showed no signs of returning, and there was still no improvement. Still, he’d vaguely waited for his appetite to return before half a year passed, and now was exactly that time.

Having steadily received Guiding and stuck together, they had already passed the second hurdle.

“Haa…”

Seo Eui-woo languidly exclaimed.

The imbalances that had lasted chronically for so long finally harmonized, fitting together like puzzle pieces.

Eating, a simple act that every animal takes for granted, was a great miracle for Seo Eui-woo.

His lips trembled slightly, and his eyes melted. His long, innocent eyes curved, and joy blossomed brightly.

An appetite he’d lived his entire life without was finally beginning to sprout.

He didn’t want to miss even a moment of this long-awaited moment.

Seo Eui-woo gazed at Kwon Jae-jin with admiration and delight. The morning sunlight shone diagonally, creating a bridge of light between the two.

“Jae-jin-ssi, I’m feeling…”

“Yes, you’re feeling…”

“Wow, this, haha… It’s amazing. The process of eating wasn’t difficult. It’s delicious.”

“Really… Wait, what?”

It wasn’t difficult?

It was that bad…?

“No, it’s nothing. I just had to force myself to empty my plate since I was a trainee. I have some memories like that.”

“Ah…”

“When I was young, I secretly hid and threw up. I sometimes did that even after I grew up.”

His imbalanced body couldn’t accept food, but he had to forcibly fill himself with nutrients for survival, and he couldn’t even let anyone around him know.

Just hearing these fragmentary stories that he casually shared, Kwon Jae-jin could only feel dismayed and heavy-hearted about Seo Eui-woo’s childhood.

“…I didn’t know. I didn’t know it was that bad.”

Until now, he had been offering Seo Eui-woo a bite each time they ate, following a habit ingrained in his body, but he belatedly regretted why he had done so without thinking.

He only knew that Seo Eui-woo simply didn’t have an appetite, not that it was a distressing level. If he had known, he would never have fed him anything.

Furthermore, Seo Eui-woo had volunteered to learn how to cook for Kwon Jae-jin, and even then, he hadn’t shown any dislike at all.

If he had a past of forcibly eating and throwing up, then cooking would be quite…

No, food itself would be…

Quite disgusting, it seemed…

“Why didn’t you tell me things like that? No, why did you say you wanted to learn how to cook… Why did you go so far?”

Kwon Jae-jin asked, unable to hide his bewilderment. His eyebrows drooped, and his mouth opened slightly. It seemed that he was failing to manage his expressions more often recently.

“Do you really have to ask for a reason like that?”

Seo Eui-woo chuckled and slowly untied the black apron around his waist. He hung it next to the counter and washed his hands cleanly in the sink. After drying his hands, he rolled down the sleeves he had rolled up, one by one, and approached Kwon Jae-jin.

“It’s nothing compared to Jae-jin-ssi. It’s not a big deal.”

Seo Eui-woo reached out and brushed Kwon Jae-jin’s ear. He traced the circumference of the round earlobe with his fingertips, tickling him.

The sensation on his ear felt sensitive.

“You should have at least shown some dislike… You were so adamant that we shouldn’t hide anything from each other.”

“How can I show dislike when I didn’t dislike it?”

“That can’t be.”

“It’s true. I enjoyed everything.”

Seo Eui-woo pinched Kwon Jae-jin’s earlobe, lightly pressing it with his fingernail. A nail mark in the shape of an arc remained on the soft flesh. Seo Eui-woo pressed three similar marks in the same spot, making it obvious that he was in a good mood.

“I liked feeding Jae-jin-ssi, and I liked being fed by Jae-jin-ssi. I still do. I’m happy that I have an appetite, but I’m even happier that I’m becoming the same as Jae-jin-ssi.”

“…”

“Ah, I can understand Jae-jin-ssi’s feelings now. I wanted to know what everyone else felt like during meals and why they waited for the servings so eagerly.”

“…Is that so.”

There was no way he could handle this.

Kwon Jae-jin silently nodded and simply replied.

“Then let’s eat together from this morning.”

“Yes, let’s do that.”

As if reading Kwon Jae-jin’s complicated heart, Seo Eui-woo chuckled and slowly removed his hand that had been fiddling with his ear. Then, he straightened Jae-jin’s ruffled shirt collar and smoothed out the wrinkles in his clothes.

“Let’s eat together. I want to eat exactly the same things that Jae-jin-ssi eats.”

*

After finishing breakfast, Kwon Jae-jin carefully voiced his opinion. Shouldn’t they go to the Center?

Seo Eui-woo frowned, looking quite displeased, but he didn’t throw a tantrum about wanting to trap Kwon Jae-jin.

“Does Jae-jin-ssi really have to go there? Of all days, today?”

“…There’s no point in dragging things out. We need to understand the situation to respond accordingly.”

“Then I’ll go alone. Jae-jin-ssi, wait at home.”

“No. It’s also a matter related to me, so I can’t do that. Let’s go together.”

Kwon Jae-jin persuaded Seo Eui-woo with some degree of nervousness.

There was no knowing when Seo Eui-woo’s eyes would turn over again and cause a commotion.

He was quite anxious, but unexpectedly, Seo Eui-woo obediently listened to Jae-jin’s wishes.

“Haa, I understand. Let’s go then.”

No, his answer was obedient, but seeing the murderous glint in his eyes, it seemed that his true feelings were not at all like that.

His eyes clearly showed the desire to smash the Center right away and hole up in the house with Kwon Jae-jin, kissing and cuddling him.

If it had been the past, he would have said he didn’t want to go, that they had to be together no matter what, and the whole house would have been turned upside down with his ability vibrating everywhere, but it wasn’t like that anymore.

Seo Eui-woo had passed the point of no return, and now he couldn’t stop or ruin it anymore. Even if his possessiveness gnawed at him and his eyes turned red with jealousy, there was nothing he could do.

“Instead, stay right next to me. Don’t even go near other Espers.”

Seo Eui-woo desperately suppressed his surging, sinister desires, gritted his teeth, and pleaded.

This was a vicious trap and an incurable disease.

“You can’t look at other bastards either. Look only at me. And if anyone tries to touch Jae-jin-ssi, I’ll crush them right away without warning. I’m telling you in advance, so don’t be surprised.”

“…Okay. I’ll be careful.”

“And Guiding…”

“Yes…”

“I know you want to test it out, Jae-jin-ssi. I also know that the Creature Wave is imminent.”

“Yes…”

“I know what determination you are making… If you actually intend to act on that decision, you must be prepared.”

Prepared…?

“I’m trying as much as possible to endure, but honestly, I’m not confident at all right now.”

Seo Eui-woo wrapped one arm around Kwon Jae-jin’s waist and pulled him close. He held him as if he would crush him, looking down with a fiercely hardened expression. His sculpturally perfect features overflowed with ferocious impulses.

“All sorts of shitty things that Jae-jin-ssi hates, I might do them all… Ah, I don’t know.”

“Th, um…”

“If you really do Guiding, even if I just fuck you until you’re crawling on the floor on all fours, crying and begging, it might not be enough. I don’t know if using twenty Healing Factors each while fucking you day and night would be enough.”

“Uh…”

“So, if you’re okay with having me stuck inside you, pissing and shitting while eating, if you’re okay with having your asshole poked with a glass rod and getting your ass beat… If you’re that prepared, then do Guiding.”

“…”

“What can I do? This is the best I can concede.”

“…Um.”

“Doesn’t it fit? I’m really enduring a lot here. I’m not killing the other person, am I? I’m not imprisoning Jae-jin-ssi or erasing his memories.”

“It’s true if you put it that way, but…”

“What am I supposed to do then? There’s no other way.”

“…”

“What can I do? I love Jae-jin-ssi.”

Kwon Jae-jin couldn’t think of anything to say.

Seo Eui-woo might be crazy, but it was also true that this was his sincere best effort right now. He probably sincerely meant it when he said he was enduring a lot.

He meant that Kwon Jae-jin shouldn’t even think about Guiding unless he was prepared to endure that much.

His lower lip trembled slightly. He had originally thought that he couldn’t back down, but now he really couldn’t back down anymore.

After careful consideration, Jae-jin lowered his voice and replied quietly.

“…I understand.”