TTOA Chapter 66

“It’s my Jae-jin. Kwon Jae-jin, I… I’m even afraid of messing up myself, so I can’t treat him carelessly. Because Jae-jin told me to wait… I’m afraid of being disliked if I act rashly again. Do you know how much I’ve been paying attention…?”

Afraid that you’d say I’m being greedy, obsessive, like a child.

“Really, I’ve really been careful! Until Jae-jin feels comfortable liking me again. Until we go back to how we used to be, until Jae-jin trusts me again… Sometimes, I was even careful about looking at you. Of course, I was mindful when I touched you.”

“……”

“In case I unknowingly upset Jae-jin again, I just endured everything that I thought wouldn’t be okay. But that, some damn bastard… A bastard who doesn’t even know how to cherish Kwon Jae-jin! They say he touched you carelessly here and there, how can I not go crazy?”

Perhaps finding it difficult to control the emotions that kept surging up, the smile that had been on Seo Eui-woo’s face all along faded slightly. With the smile gone, only a terrible expression, a mixture of rage and anxiety, remained on his face.

“I don’t want to ruin my relationship with Jae-jin. I don’t want to get angry at Jae-jin. I’m just too much today… So I’m…”

His emotions were all over the place.

He was tormented by all sorts of thoughts, his heart was completely shaken; it was overwhelmingly obvious even without trying to observe him closely.

“……Eui-woo.”

Jae-jin, sighing, called out to Seo Eui-woo and wrapped his arms around his neck.

He pulled in the devastated face and kissed his lips.

It was hard to listen to him. Heartbreaking, agonizing, just… I hate this situation.

Kwon Jae-jin, who had blocked Seo Eui-woo’s mouth with a kiss, stared at him intently. Now, Kwon Jae-jin had no choice but to be honest.

“Today, earlier, when my being a Mutant was exposed, I thought I had to die no matter what.”

“……What did you say?”

“If I was caught like that, I would die, and Seo Eui-woo wouldn’t be able to avoid punishment… So I thought it would be better for me to die alone. So I really tried to die.”

“……”

“Five creatures followed me. There was a steep canyon in front, and a pack of wolf-type creatures teeming behind. Do you know what I was thinking then?”

In the hot water filled with rising steam, the two men’s gazes met intensely.

“Only regret.”

Regret for the first life, regret for the second life. Only regret.

I thought there would be no third chance.

“To end things with Seo Eui-woo like that… To die like this after only pushing you away. I couldn’t help but regret it.”

Frankly, the current situation is an unresolvable maze.

As Seo Eui-woo said, this is enemy territory, and as long as Kwon Jae-jin is a Mutant, there will always be threats around.

Moreover, a Gate could unexpectedly open at any time, and a creature could pop out at any moment. Therefore, the day Seo Eui-woo can completely relax can never come.

The same goes for Kwon Jae-jin. He wanted to relax and feel comfortable now, but it seemed like he shouldn’t.

I have to live in a constant state of tension. I felt like I needed to get used to that sharp mindset.

In this situation, what could Kwon Jae-jin and Seo Eui-woo do if they were torn apart and ran wild with only their own thoughts and feelings? We have to understand each other. We have to go together.

“Last time, when I found out that my childhood memories had been completely stolen… As Seo Eui-woo knows, I lost my way. The shock was so great, I felt betrayed, and there was no way to solve it. I was miserable and desperate. Even though it was said to be deadly dangerous, I insisted on things, threatened you with Guiding… I admit I lost my reason. But at that time, my heart was really that confused.”

“Yes… I know. Jae-jin, you were like that. You looked like you were having a hard time.”

“I couldn’t go back to the way I was before, I couldn’t treat Seo Eui-woo comfortably, and I was tormented by what to do. To be honest, even at this moment, that resentment remains. Thinking that there’s a big hole in my head that I don’t even know about… It pisses me off.”

“Yes… I understand that too.”

“But still, I think that eventually, someday, it will just be the two of us. As Seo Eui-woo said, as you wish, Kwon Jae-jin will trust Seo Eui-woo, and Seo Eui-woo will trust Kwon Jae-jin. We’ll give each other everything. As if we’re the only two people in the world…”

Kwon Jae-jin kissed Seo Eui-woo again.

Seo Eui-woo, who had been stiff as a board when he kissed him earlier, parted his lips slightly this time and responded to the kiss. He let out a languid breath, rubbed his tongue briefly, and pulled away.

“I, more than you think… So, much more than Seo Eui-woo thinks. Even more than that…”

Kwon Jae-jin kissed Seo Eui-woo relentlessly. This time, Seo Eui-woo clung to him even more actively than before. He hugged Kwon Jae-jin’s waist tightly with his raging arms, making Kwon Jae-jin’s body completely lean against his chest, trapping him completely in his arms.

“Ha… Is that, is that so…?”

With a breathless gasp, Seo Eui-woo’s fervent joy was spilled out. Seo Eui-woo mumbled, dazed.

“What, what about me… Jae-jin, what do you like so much about me?”

“That…”

“Answer me. Huh? Except for my face and body. I’ve already heard that.”

“Seo Eui-woo is…”

Kwon Jae-jin, who had lowered his eyes for a moment, twitched his lips a few times before finally answering.

“Seo Eui-woo, I think you’ll never change until you die.”

“……”

“The consistency… I like that about you.”

No matter what happens in the future, Seo Eui-woo will still be Seo Eui-woo.

I think you’ll only want and crave Kwon Jae-jin blindly.

Because I know that fact better than anyone else.

Even Kwon Jae-jin, who never believed in words like absolute immutability and eternal immortality, somehow, perhaps, if it’s Seo Eui-woo, he comes to expect it… I think that’s truly overwhelming.

Even if the world changes more tragically than this and is swept away by epidemics and wars, even if decades or hundreds of years pass and the mountains and seas change, I believe that Seo Eui-woo will always be this Seo Eui-woo.

“……Haha.”

At that moment, Seo Eui-woo’s laughter, as if he was in a good mood, pierced his ears. Kwon Jae-jin inadvertently lifted his lowered eyes slightly.

Seo Eui-woo’s face was right in front of him.

It was a softened Seo Eui-woo, with his eyes curved affectionately, his young and pure beautiful face flushed with pink.

The cold, even chilling gaze that had been emanating from his gray eyes just a moment ago was now melting away, looking at Kwon Jae-jin with a tender blur.

“I’ve always thought… that Jae-jin was just pretending to know me when you didn’t know anything about Seo Eui-woo, but that wasn’t it. Jae-jin, you know me really well.”

The murderous Seo Eui-woo, who wanted to immediately find Major Ma Tae-o, burn the arm that touched Kwon Jae-jin, and tear him apart and kill him, seemed to have disappeared without a trace.

With just one word.

With one word from Kwon Jae-jin…

“I won’t change. Even if I want to change, I don’t think I can.”

“……”

“I’ll always be, only Jae-jin… Yeah, that’s me…”

Looking at Seo Eui-woo like that, Kwon Jae-jin felt like something inside him was dropping with a thud.

Looking at that excited face, like a well-ripened peach, or like a docile large dog, a face like a twenty-year-old in love for the first time, he felt a jolt and his hair stood on end.

Suddenly, a huge canyon appeared before his eyes. The end of a rocky cliff that ran with the green eyes of wolves pouring down like will-o’-the-wisps. The canyon where nine streams flowed and two pairs of seven-colored rainbows overlapped flickered in his mind.

The first life ended in regret, and the second life was…

The second life is… not yet.

Kwon Jae-jin warmly melted, raised his wet body, and leaned closer to Seo Eui-woo. He covered him and pushed him against the bathtub wall, leaning completely as if entrusting his whole body.

“Seo Eui-woo.”

The two people, who were already so close, overlapped seamlessly as one.

Like a single mass, as if they were originally one person.

As if they would continue to stick together like this and never fall apart.

“Shall we just try dating…?”

Words popped out of Jae-jin’s mouth without thinking.

As if there was no need to think about it. As if instinct told him the answer. The words just came out suddenly.

“Yes?”

Seo Eui-woo widened his gray eyes with a momentarily flustered look, but then his eyes filled with even more joy than before. It was as if a white light was being scattered around him.

But soon, his excited expression gradually subsided.