TTOA Chapter 50

#50

“I can’t do Guiding. As of today, I won’t Guide Seo Eui-woo.”

“What did you say?”

Seo Eui-woo silently raised his head. His gaze was terrifyingly fierce.

“Guiding is a Guide’s duty, you said. Until Seo Eui-woo restores my memories completely and fulfills his responsibilities, I have no intention of fulfilling that duty either. I can’t do it. Anyway, the reason Seo Eui-woo is desperately trying to keep me alive is because of that goddamn Guiding, isn’t it? Always wanting only Guiding.”

“…What are you saying now? Do you want to see me angry, Jae-jin? Is that why you’re doing this?”

“Isn’t it true, though? I’ve just been ignoring it until now. If Kwon Jae-jin wasn’t Seo Eui-woo’s Guide, if I were an ordinary civilian instead of a Mutant Guide, would you have even glanced my way? What would the great S-rank Esper Seo Eui-woo have thought of Kwon Jae-jin if he wasn’t a Guide?… Would you have even cared if I lived or died? No? You would have thought of my life as lighter than paper.”

“Ha… Stop it. I’m warning you. I’m starting to get really angry.”

Seo Eui-woo wiped the blood from his lower lip with a rough motion. When he rubbed it with the back of his hand, bright red blood smeared across his mouth.

Kwon Jae-jin knew that Seo Eui-woo’s warning was genuine.

Even so, he didn’t stop provoking him.

“The reason Seo Eui-woo is keeping Kwon Jae-jin alive is because he needs Guiding, after all.”

Whatever he does, it’s Guiding. Guiding.

From beginning to end, it’s just Guiding.

He speaks so eloquently. That he can’t kill Kwon Jae-jin, that he tried to keep him alive. But doesn’t that purpose ultimately lead to Guiding exploitation?

“Even if I say that I will never Guide Seo Eui-woo again, will you still cherish this life so much? I swear. From today onwards, I will never voluntarily respond to Guiding again.”

“Stop it, please… Just stop…!”

The lamp that was on flickered anxiously before the bulb burst. Seo Eui-woo’s suppressed ability overflowed and ran wild.

More ferocious and sharper than usual. It gushed out in all directions like a flogged, ferocious beast.

The power, rising like smoke, shook the mansion and extended beneath the foundation. Seo Eui-woo gritted his teeth to restrain himself, but his emotions were already excessive and difficult to control.

“Why? Is there a problem? Even if I don’t agree, Seo Eui-woo can just suppress me and solve everything, right? Using that omnipotent ability. Cuffing me. Gagging me and inserting a catheter into my dick! Just treat me like a tool, a machine to extract Guiding from!”

“I, I don’t want to. Keuk… I’m sick of it, too.”

Seo Eui-woo frowned, struggling to contain his power. His glistening gray eyes seethed hotly.

“I didn’t want to live as an Esper. Who would like it this way?… I never wanted to be an S-rank or anything. But, Jae-jin, Kwon Jae-jin appeared before me, and I… Jae-jin gave me everything.”

Seo Eui-woo’s eyes were trembling as he stared with a red, swollen, and bleeding face.

“I… You made me want Jae-jin. Made me live as an Esper, how good Guiding is, how much I want it. You changed everything! I finally feel like I’m living! Are you telling me to handle it now, Kwon Jae-jin saying he’s going to die and leave me behind?”

“So! Damn it, if you like Guiding so much! Either restore my memories to the way they were, or bind me or whatever and do whatever you want! Ha, sure. You can erase my memories again, too. This time, I hope you don’t go easy on me and properly erase everything in my head and succeed. Whether you make another big hole or whatever, turn me into a convenient Guiding slave. As Seo Eui-woo’s exclusive Guide, tied up like livestock for the rest of my life! Treat me however you want!!”

Crack!

Despite Seo Eui-woo’s efforts to restrain himself, the mansion’s framework groaned and warped. The wall split in two, and cement powder fell from the cracks. The bed shook unsteadily, but Kwon Jae-jin didn’t bat an eye.

What could a person who wasn’t afraid of death possibly fear?

“Until Seo Eui-woo returns my family… Absolutely, resolutely, unfailingly. I will not agree to Guiding. Keep that in mind.”

“……”

“Think carefully. I’ll be waiting for your answer.”

*

It was an unusually cold and windy night.

Kwon Jae-jin kicked Seo Eui-woo out and locked himself in the bedroom, and Seo Eui-woo deliberately avoided the place for fear of harming Kwon Jae-jin because he couldn’t control his potentially rampaging abilities.

Perhaps because it was in the mountains, the sound of an owl crying could be heard from afar. On a dark, cloudy night without moonlight, even the eerie cry of a bird made the already troubled heart sink further.

It was long past midnight, but Kwon Jae-jin naturally couldn’t fall asleep. He had been lying motionless on the bed like a dead person for hours, occasionally tossing and turning to signal his survival. He wasn’t doing anything, but strangely, it became more and more difficult as time passed.

Was it because he said those things, that kind of thing, to Seo Eui-woo?

‘Acting old and not acting my age.’

Of course, not all the words he had spat out were his true feelings.

To make me a Guiding slave, to treat me like livestock… He flared up, knowing that Seo Eui-woo wouldn’t easily do such things. Because there was something he felt about what Seo Eui-woo wanted from Kwon Jae-jin, even if he didn’t say it directly.

‘That brat is cruel, but I didn’t have to be just as cruel… But, if I don’t do this, I’ll never get my memories back.’

He vented his anger a little harshly due to his impulsive feelings, but even after chewing over it several times, he couldn’t just gloss over this matter.

This time, he means that he cannot yield to Seo Eui-woo’s wishes, as he wants.

‘Then… I’ll be too pathetic.’

At least Kwon Jae-jin had the right to be angry.

He is a victim who has been deprived of his innate blood relatives, and he cannot just bear it and move on. It was too unfair, infuriating, and nauseating to do so.

More than anything else, Kwon Jae-jin lost his family.

His entire life, the roots he was born and raised in, and the experiences and background of his childhood were taken away. Seo Eui-woo is no different from an enemy who killed his parents. But should he have endured it? Should Kwon Jae-jin have accepted Seo Eui-woo without any problems this time, and understood him?

The Seo Eui-woo in the second timeline didn’t directly do anything, so this Seo Eui-woo is innocent. He is innocent. Should he have done that…?

‘Damn it…’

I don’t know.

I really don’t know. Since a while ago, all thoughts ended with a ‘damn it’. No matter what he worried about, the conclusion was ‘damn it’, and no matter what he recalled, the conclusion was ‘damn it’.

Everything is damn it. This damn bastard. This damn world. This damn Guiding and this damn psychic ability!

May it all be ruined.

May it all be burned away. I hope the whole world is destroyed and they all fall down miserably and die.

At this moment, if Kwon Jae-jin were Seo Eui-woo, if he were an S-rank Esper, Kwon Jae-jin would not have endured it and would have exploded his ability and willingly chosen an extreme and tragic ending called Runaway.

Jae-jin, who roughly swept his hair back, buried his face deeply in the pillow.

He couldn’t fall asleep tonight, after all.

He would surely stay up all night with his eyes wide open. He was burning with anger, so he couldn’t sleep and he wasn’t hungry. He hadn’t eaten or drunk anything since last night and had been on an empty stomach, but he didn’t feel hungry.

Just then, a knock was heard from outside the closed bedroom door.

“Jae-jin. Can I come in?”

It’s Seo Eui-woo. He seemed to be quiet for a while, but it seems he came to stir things up again.

Kwon Jae-jin didn’t answer the call, but Seo Eui-woo opened the bedroom door without permission. Then, without making a sound, he carefully and slowly entered the room.

“Were you sleeping? Didn’t I wake you up?”

He felt the presence of him approaching. Kwon Jae-jin ignored him without even giving him a glance.

As if it didn’t matter, Seo Eui-woo sat at the head of the bed. The mattress sank deeply under his heavy weight. He has a pure muscular physique, so he weighs a lot.

“Jae-jin told me to go out, that he didn’t want to see me for a while… But I was worried, so I came. I was worried that you might do something scary again.”

What, like hurting myself?

Like biting my tongue?

Kwon Jae-jin let out a hollow breath as if he was dumbfounded.

Seo Eui-woo stared at Kwon Jae-jin with tenacious eyes, and unknowingly contorted his forehead harshly.

Kwon Jae-jin looked too emaciated. Fatigue was embedded in his faint eyes, and his lips, which had not been moistened with a single drop of water, were dry and chapped. His bloodshot eyes were still red. Anyone could see that he was not in a normal state.

“Jae-jin…”

His hand reached out.

It was a hand reaching out in pity and sadness. He wanted to comfort and soothe Kwon Jae-jin, to gently caress him.

However, Kwon Jae-jin rejected Seo Eui-woo’s approach with a single, cold stroke.

“What are you doing now? Are you trying to Guide me?”