TTOA Chapter 26

#26

For six days, Seo Eui-woo hadn’t returned home after receiving some kind of urgent summons.

He must have been assigned to a long-term mission. Even in the first timeline, there were times when he was away for extended periods, but Kwon Jae-jin couldn’t remember if it was around this time or not.

Kwon Jae-jin lay alone on the pure white bed, blankly staring at the ceiling.

In the center of the open glass ceiling, Seo Eui-woo’s infuriatingly handsome face slowly surfaced and flickered.

‘Am I going crazy?’

Jae-jin abruptly pulled the blanket over his face. It was a futile escape. Even with his eyes closed, Seo Eui-woo came to mind, and even in his sleep, he dreamt of Seo Eui-woo.

‘How can he not come back for six days after something like that happened?’

Was it because the future had changed?

He felt uneasy. The thought that Seo Eui-woo might die during a mission crossed his mind. He couldn’t remember if he had gone on such a long mission in the first timeline, whether he had returned safely then, or what exactly had happened; everything was a jumbled mess. He knew it was pointless to try and recall the first timeline, which made him even more anxious.

The future Kwon Jae-jin knew had become useless.

Everything was completely twisted.

Seo Eui-woo had even tried to erase Kwon Jae-jin’s memories, so it wouldn’t be strange if anything happened in this situation. Seo Eui-woo could die, or be severely injured, or even…

‘I don’t know, damn it…’

He was worried whether Seo Eui-woo didn’t return, but he was also worried if Seo Eui-woo did return.

‘What if that bastard tries to erase my memories again?’

Judging by Seo Eui-woo’s personality, he would definitely do it. Unless some unexpected change occurred, he would persistently try to do so. Kwon Jae-jin curled up under the blanket before punching the mattress. He threw a pillow and got out of bed.

‘What am I supposed to do? Forget Seo Eui-woo? Should I just forget everything?’

If the memories of Seo Eui-woo from the first timeline disappeared, he would surely forget his life intertwined with him in that timeline as well.

The past four years would be completely, utterly erased.

In that case, Kwon Jae-jin wouldn’t even know that he had regressed. He would be reset as if this life were his first, as if meeting Seo Eui-woo was for the first time.

‘Maybe I can go back.’

If he forgot Seo Eui-woo from the first timeline, Kwon Jae-jin would definitely resist Guiding with all his might. Only the life he had lived as an ordinary person would remain, and he would vehemently hate and despise Seo Eui-woo. He would refuse Guiding and try to escape from this house, causing all sorts of chaos.

He would fight with Seo Eui-woo, steal his gun and shoot at him, secretly hide and hurt himself with his beloved kitchen knife, and be persistently treated with the Healing Factor while being bound in handcuffs.

‘If I go through all that madness, wouldn’t the Seo Eui-woo of the second timeline become like the Seo Eui-woo of the first timeline? The Seo Eui-woo who regretted and repented. Kwon Jae-jin’s lover. Wouldn’t he return to the Seo Eui-woo I knew, the Seo Eui-woo I accepted…?’

If Kwon Jae-jin had to forget Seo Eui-woo to return to him, erasing his memories was a choice worth considering. It was absurd to make such irrational, preposterous, and contradictory assumptions, but on the other hand, he seriously wondered if it might not be a good idea.

‘I’ve gone crazy. I’m not in my right mind. Well, I’ve spent four years with that crazy bastard Seo Eui-woo, so it can’t be helped if I’ve caught his mental illness. It’s all Seo Eui-woo’s fault. Seo Eui-woo made me like this.’

Kwon Jae-jin staggered towards the kitchen. While walking down the hallway, he aimlessly kicked or punched the innocent walls.

Arriving at the kitchen, Jae-jin took out his beloved kitchen knife, held it in one hand, and went down to the wine cellar. Expensive liquors were lined up on the wide wall with a dimly lit atmosphere.

All kinds of strong liquor were there. Vodka, Martini, Whiskey, Brandy, Rum, Tequila…

Kwon Jae-jin tapped the displayed bottles with his beloved kitchen knife, walking from one end of the display to the other, before picking up a transparent Tequila bottle and opening the cap. He drank it straight from the bottle and wiped his mouth.

‘Bastard. Seo Eui-woo, you son of a bitch.’

He could ruin and torment Kwon Jae-jin like this in both the first and second timelines. That guy was truly something else.

Jae-jin poured alcohol into his empty stomach, grabbing a beautifully shaped crystal bottle of whiskey and a wine bottle with the year of his birth written on it, tucking them under his arm. He left the wine cellar, took the elevator, stopped by the study on the second floor, and then headed to the exhibition room.

The exhibition room was, as the name suggests, an art exhibition room. Paintings collected by Seo Eui-woo were hanging there. All of them were originals.

Originals by Manet. Originals by Degas. Originals by Géricault.

Kwon Jae-jin had poor taste and no interest in art, so no matter what masterpiece he saw, he only thought things like ‘Seo Eui-woo is more handsome,’ or ‘That bastard’s face is more worth looking at.’ But sometimes when he was alone, he came into this room.

It felt like the people in the paintings were together.

Having lived his whole life as one in a crowd, Kwon Jae-jin felt comfortable being in groups. Of course, when he lived in the 6th Residential District, Kwon Jae-jin was also a kind of alpha male. Since he was a member of the working class, he had a good physique and didn’t neglect exercise, so it was inevitable. However, after spending four years with a unique individual like Seo Eui-woo, he inevitably realized his relative ordinariness.

Ordinariness wasn’t a bad attribute, nor was it inferior. It was just the persona of an ordinary person that Kwon Jae-jin couldn’t let go of.

Kwon Jae-jin inevitably became Seo Eui-woo’s Guide by his side, but that didn’t mean he could abandon the years he had lived as an ordinary person. Mutant, half-baked, destined to be killed – Jae-jin stood amidst all those unstable and precarious defects. Clinging to an identity that was neither one thing nor the other.

‘So… it’s not my fault.’

Kwon Jae-jin’s desires were always right.

The desire to avoid the Gate and survive.

The desire to maintain his relationship with Seo Eui-woo.

The desire not to forget his memories.

The desire to forget his memories and return to his original state.

The desired conditions were contradictory and conflicting, but even so, none of them could be said to be wrong.

Kwon Jae-jin truly wanted everything.

He had the right to greedily seize and achieve it.

‘I have to decide.’

Which path to take. Which future to lead. He had to put Seo Eui-woo and Seo Eui-woo on the scale and weigh them.

Whether to protect his memories and keep the Seo Eui-woo of the first timeline. Or to give up his memories and obtain the Seo Eui-woo of the second timeline. It was a battle of giving up the past to gain the future, or giving up the future to gain the past.

‘What would Seo Eui-woo… what would Seo Eui-woo have done in this situation?’

If Kwon Jae-jin were split into two, and he had to choose one of them, he would…

‘…’

Jae-jin repeatedly drank.

He opened the whiskey and wine he had brought and mixed them, changing the type of alcohol he drank.

He was quite strong when it came to alcohol, but if he drank from the bottle like this, even a heavy drinker would get drunk. Kwon Jae-jin’s arms, legs, shoulders, and knees all turned bright red.

‘Seo Eui-woo.’

He mumbled his inner thoughts with a slurred tongue.

“That bastard… is such an amazing bastard… that even if I were torn in two… he would somehow put me back together.”

Maybe, just maybe.

He might have an ability that could overturn regression. Who knew if there was an ability that could transcend time?

The important thing was that Seo Eui-woo wouldn’t have given up on either side of Kwon Jae-jin. If that obsessive maniac was the kind of guy who would so easily give up or let go of something, Kwon Jae-jin would have already escaped from him and be on a yacht in the Caribbean.

“Damn it… I’m not giving up either, damn it.”

The Seo Eui-woo of the first timeline, and the Seo Eui-woo of the second timeline, were all Kwon Jae-jin’s.

He couldn’t let go of either of them.

Kwon Jae-jin would have them.

He would have them all.

‘Memories, future, life, Seo Eui-woo.’

And, on top of that.

He would ask for more.

‘The life of an ordinary person, the life of a Guide, the life of a Mutant. It’s all mine.’

*

The smell of gasoline stung his nose.

The 60 million won Ducati Panigale V4 SP bike that Seo Eui-woo had crushed into a basketball-sized lump of steel. And the gasoline that had been slipped in as a component of that bike.

A bonus. An extra. A side dish, not the main dish. A supporting role, not the lead.

Who would have known that an add-on item that he didn’t even know was there would become Kwon Jae-jin’s reliable assistant at this moment?

That’s why they said you can’t predict what will happen in life.

‘The smell of gasoline is strong.’

Kwon Jae-jin wandered around the living room with the open gasoline can. He poured gasoline all over the floor, emptying the entire can.

The sofa, the carpet, the curtains, the floor, the TV… he coated everything with gasoline, turned the can upside down, and shook out the last drop. He also poured the half-empty Tequila over it, hoping it would help.

In the first timeline, he had emptied out Seo Eui-woo’s liquor collection, breaking them one by one, and barely managed to start a fire. But in the second timeline, it was so easy to set a fire, which was convenient and good. After all, he was an experienced kidnap and confinement victim. Experience doesn’t disappear.

‘Well… now that I know what’s going to happen, it’s less interesting, though.’

Kwon Jae-jin, reeking of alcohol and gasoline, lit the torch. His fingertips were red because he was still drunk. As the flames spread throughout the living room, Jae-jin leisurely crossed his arms and stepped back.